Murdo Girl….The girls are ready to rumble

 

This is Murdo Girl and I’m looking for Yram Sicnarf. She’s in town trying to line up a team of people to help me with my campaign. Yes… I’m hoping to be the first woman Coyote POTUS. I’m convinced we can make short work of the Donkeys and Elephants out there. I believe you’ve got to kick off any new campaign right in your own hometown. That’s what Senator John Thune did, and look how well he’s doing. He’s got a sign you know. My cousin told me I could get a banner at Staples. Murdo doesn’t have a store called Staples, so I went to Lee Beckwith’s store. He’s got staples, but no banners.

 

Campaigns are tough on people. Look what happened to these women, and they only ran for the water board. They’re going to help me with my petition to change the name on the water towers to Murdo Girl Towers. Kind of like Trump tower, only I’ll have two of them.

The truth is, I’m a few years older than John, so I’ve got to move a little faster. Frankly, I’m a little worried about Yram. She’s out of shape big-time. And Queenie? Let’s not go there.

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I’m in this for the long run. Where’s the Brexit?

I’m just about to walk into Fern’s Cafe. I decided I was hungry for a good cheeseburger. I thought I’d also get the temperature of the potential voters. You know, put a few feelers out.

***********************************************************************

FERN’S CAFE

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This is Pete Penticoff when he was a little bit younger. A handsome guy with a winning smile. I like that word “winning.”

I think I’ll sit over there by that skinny guy with the pinched face, seated at the counter. I think he’s a trucker.

Murdo Girl: Hi there. I noticed a big ol rig out there, and I reckon it must be your’n. (Ya gotta talk truck driver lingo when you’re trying to make friends with a trucker.)

Trucker guy has not yet made eye contact and continues to wolf down his coffee and a donut.

Murdo Girl: Well, Mr. rig driving trucker, have you ever heard of Murdo Girl?

Trucker: What’s a Murdo Girl?

Murdo Girl: You must not be from around these parts if’n you don’t know about Murdo Girl. She’s about to kick off a campaign. She’s running on the Coyote ticket for POTUS

Trucker gets up and leaves.

Murdo Girl: Hey Pete, do you know that trucker guy?

Pete: Do you mean that guy who just walked out without paying? Yeah I know him.

Murdo Girl: I didn’t mean to run him off… I guess this isn’t a real good time to ask you about having a campaign fund raiser for me here at Ferns?  We’re Just talking a few free donuts and cookies, and free coffee of course.

Pete leans on the counter with one elbow, chews on his toothpick a little, looks me straight in the eye, and says, “No.” Pete doesn’t talk much. At least the times I’ve been around him.

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Hi, I’m Billy. I like Pete. I like his son Mick too. Mick’s my friend. He’s going to help me campaign for my sister. Well, we have to see her platform first.

Murdo Girl: How much is a piece of chocolate cake Pete? A small one.  I can’t remember which of them, but Sherri Miller or Mom Banks aka Carol Callihan Fairbanks, told me she loves your chocolate cake. I’ve never had it, but it sure does look good. Is the coffee free? (Pete doesn’t comment. I decide I will come back around when Fern is here. Pete is Fern’s son.)

As I headed for my Willys Jeep, I noticed the big rig was gone, but the driver was still there. Eaten up with curiosity, I decided to go over to him and check it out. I asked him why he was still there, but his rig was gone?

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Trucker Guy: I’m not a trucker guy Ms.Woman Coyote for President. I’m Barney Fife, and this here is my patrol car. I always get free donuts and coffee at Fern’s. I heard you were coming home to”kick off.” I was hoping that meant you had some fatal illness.

And another thing! If I ever see money change hands in a situation like that back there in Fern’s, you’ll be sitting out the election in the Jones County Jail! CAN YOU HEAR ME MURDO GIRL?

Murdo Girl: Funny, I hadn’t noticed the deputy uniform and the badge until just now!

Then I saw something that made my eye start to twitch.

 

Barney: “People around these parts are feeling the Baaaaarn!”

Murdo Girl: You don’t have a chance, Barney Fife, because you’re alldumb!

Meanwhile, back at the crow’s nest of the Harold Thune Auditorium, Yram Sicnarf is in a chair sound asleep.

Mr. Palmer is giving some kid a saxophone lesson. He looks over at Yram and shakes his head. The next lesson is on the drums…and possibly the cymbals. Poor thing, he thought. I might just agree to that parade. First I have to see what platform Murdo Girl stands on.

To be continued

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

H

13 thoughts on “Murdo Girl….The girls are ready to rumble

  1. sanjuan831 June 28, 2016 / 5:56 pm

    I am so happy that the jeep endorsed you!

    Liked by 1 person

      • sanjuan831 June 28, 2016 / 6:15 pm

        Uh oh! Fully vetted? Hope I pass.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mary Francis McNinch June 28, 2016 / 6:20 pm

        Well for one thing. Murdo Girl needs to send her proofer the story before she publishes. Busy times. Hey!! Where is cousin Bob? This was his idea!

        Like

  2. scoper07 June 28, 2016 / 5:57 pm

    I cannot stop laughing Murdo Girl!! Thank you for making my day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mom Banks aka Carol Callihan Fairbanks June 28, 2016 / 6:01 pm

    Thanks for reminding me about Fern’s chocolate cake! I would volunteer for your POTUS campaign but in a few weeks I’ll be pretty busy fighting my way to work through a few hundred thousand bikers! Yes, Sturgis Rally is soon upon us!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lifelessons June 28, 2016 / 7:34 pm

    Did you know we used to call Arnie Dominiack “Barney Fife?” when he was on the police force doing night security/surveillance/kid chasing?

    Like

    • Mary Francis McNinch June 28, 2016 / 8:11 pm

      Someone else said there was a Barney Fife. I didn’t know Arnie. Do you know what years? I don’t want to offend. I’m going to get myself in trouble yet. How are you? I ùam using the blog for comic relief. I’m pretty busy with Kip. I don’t have time for much else.

      Like

      • lifelessons June 28, 2016 / 11:04 pm

        How is he feeling? I know Arnie was the night watchman in town all the years I was in high school.. At least up until 1965 when I left. There used to be a lot of tricks played on him and he gave us a bit of a hard time about “U”ing Main. They finally made it against the law to turn around at the grain elevator.. A silly thing as what else was there to do in town?

        Liked by 1 person

      • lifelessons June 28, 2016 / 11:05 pm

        I hope he’s a good patient. Nursing is a full time job, I know.Is he able to leave the bed?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mary Francis McNinch June 29, 2016 / 6:25 am

        He gets a little stronger each day. A physical therapist is coming now. The staples come out Friday, so that will help with the pain.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. countrygirl57 June 28, 2016 / 7:53 pm

    Great story. I love all the pictures.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

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