This is Murdo Girl. Today, I’m meeting with the Queen and Yram Sicnarf, the crack up reporter from Gun Barrel City, Texas. We’re going to talk about ideas for my platform, and discuss some people to add to the team.
The Queen: The Donald talks incessantly about building a wall. I have an idea that will knock him into next year! (Murdo Girl wonders if the Queen is related to her Mother. She keeps talking.) Are you ready? As all of you know, I’ve been doing a significant amount of driving around. I keep seeing signs for Wall Drug…We can relocate Wall Drug to Murdo and voila!! We have our Wall.
Murdo Girl: Good idea, but wouldn’t we have to change the name to Murdo Drug? Enlighten us here Queen. How would moving Wall Drug to Murdo keep criminals and other undesirables out of our town?
The Queen: Well, as far as changing the name…Heavens no! We’ll file a petition to keep the name Wall Drug. It will be in the courts for years anyway. I know all about Courts. Nothing will happen until your reign is over, so we won’t have to spend a dime. We’ll Keep Wall Drug while the case is pending approval by the Parliament. And..Are you ready? Having Wall Drug in Murdo will bring even more tourists to town. Some will be undesirable. Are you following me? Barney Fife will be so busy keeping the peace, he won’t have time to be a King.
Murdo Girl: Well look at you Queen..You’re not alldumb, but it’s President not King. Speaking of petitions, which we weren’t, how many signatures do you still need on our project to change the name on the water towers to Murdo Girl Towers? (In a previous discussion, it was determined to drop the word “water”.) Some of the Murdoites say our idea won’t hold water.
The Queen is waiting in line at the Jones County Court House to file the petition to change the name of Murdo’s water towers to “Murdo Girl Towers.”
Murdo Girl: Yram! Wake up! How are you coming with putting a team together?
Yram: What!? Oh, first we should discuss the irritating little punk running against us. What party is he representing?
Murdo Girl: I don’t know, but he’s devious. He’s trying to create the illusion that I chase truck drivers over at Fern’s Cafe. He’s looking for scandals. Do either of you have a checkered past?
Yram Sicnarf…The Queen…The opponent
Will the Baaaaarn find skeletons in the closets? Will Yram convince the voters her pink dress was just a Halloween costume? Will Fern agree to a fundraiser? Will the Vet find worms, fleas, or tics while vetting Jerry Elrod and Eirelav Yeckel ?
Jerry Elrod………………………..Lav Yeckel
Jerry has a history of bundling then bungling campaign funds. That’s good right? He’s already asked the Murdoites to dig deep. (Way to the bottom of their couches.) We currently don’t have two nickels to rub together. Eirelav, Lav for short, is being vetted for the position of Publicity Stunt Coordinator. Some other guy has volunteered to be our Disinformation Officer, but we don’t know what that is and he wants money.
Oh Here’s to Murdo Coyotes. We’re bound to win.
Next: The Parade (Sure hope it doesn’t rain)