Tuesday morning finds the little town of Murdo surprisingly serene. The pace is usually fast in the summertime, due to all of the tourists seeking accommodations as they make their way to the beautiful Black Hills. Add to that, the excitment of July 4th and a quiet Monday evening had not been an option.

The fireworks display out at the baseball field was spectacular as usual. The whole place was a sea of red white and blue. All the families brought picnics and their children went home full of fried chicken, potato salad , corn on the cob, and watermelon. A fun time was had by all.

The Murdo Girl for Next Pres Headquarters, 9:00 a.m.

The ever growing team is busy preparing for the meeting that will begin as soon as Murdo Girl arrives. Here’s an update of the positions that have been filled and the respective person’s duties.

THESE THREE SEASONED STAFF MEMEBERS HAVE BEEN WITH THE CAMPAIGN SINCE THE BEGINNING, which was last week sometime.

 Eirelav Yekcel, Publicity stunt Cooridantor, Jerry Elrod, Bean and bingo counter, and Sherri Miller, Photographic Drawer

THEN THERE’S THE TWO NEW STAFF MEMBERS AND ONE WHO IS ON HER WAY OUT

Teresa Palmer, Newspaper Liaison…Sheila Hurst,( It’s a secret), and on her way out, the lovely Yram Sicnarf, who is a crack up reporter from Gun Barrel City, Texas

THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT PERSON YOU’LL SEE TODAY

THE ONE AND ONLY AND NEXT PRES.

MURDO GIRL

Murdo Girl saunters over to her place at the head of the pretty crowded table, and motions her three flunkies to find a seat wherever they can. Then… she speaks.

Murdo Girl: Thank you all for being here so promptly. I myself have been for a vigorous early morning swim at the North Dam. To allay any rumors or as my severely lacking opponent would say, nip them in the bud, I want to say, “no worries.”  You see, my trusty bodyguards are my son, my son-in-law, and some other guy that lost his sun glasses and can’t close his eyes. Their names are Bart, Smart, and Braveheart.

Now on to more important matters. Since we have 2 new members of our team, and one on the way out, why don’t we go around the table and make introductions. Please state your name, your position, and explain your duties. (at which point Braveheart gets up and proceeds to go around the table.) Braveheart sit down and try not to make eye contact with anyone. It’s very annoying. Who would like to start?

Crickets

Well Yram, I guess that means you. at least people won’t be hearing those blasted bugs everywhere you go.

Yram: Morning staff and bodyguards. I’m the crack up reporter from Gun Barrel, TX . I just don’t feel like I fit in here anymore with your platform being the way it is. I prefer spike heels, I drink Pepsi instead of ice water, and that neon paint you used to scrawl your name on the water tower is downright distracting. Therefore….I’m here to tell you..I’m defecting to Barney Fife’s Lone Wolf campaign. I have a whole lot of fun riding around with Thelma Lou and Louise, and Barney won’t make me go to the High School all the time and take guff off those snooty teachers… I might be convinced to change my mind. Are those bodyguards going to be allowed to hang out with the staff some? I think dry eyes over there is kind of cute.

Murdo Girl: Have a nice life Yram

Lav: Pick me! pick me! I’m next. I’m Lav, and I’m the Publicity Stunt Coordinator. Have I got a sweet deal for you? I went over and talked to Jeff at Sanderson’s store, and he said he would give us case after case of over-ripe lemons to put in our free ice water. That should attract all kinds of voters huh Murdo Girl? We can take the campaign Jeep and cart the lemons around back by the hose. We’ll even be close to the water tower and folks can look up at the beautiful glow- in- the-dark letters spelling “MURDO GIRL TOWER,” and suck lemons and drink free water to their hearts content,

Murdo Girl: Jerry, does that sound like a publicity stunt to you, or does it sound like the only thing she cares about is getting free stuff? She’s as bad as the Queen carrying around an empty purse. At least the purse gives the Queen something to do with her hands.

 

Jerry: Well, I’m the kind of guy that will count money til the til shuts on my fingers, but it ain’t my job to bring it in the door. I highly resent being asked to go through the trash at the fair grounds looking for cans to sell and loose change under the bleachers. I did find an unopened package of chips though, which I wouldn’t get any money for, so I enjoyed them myself. There was a little kid that tried to take them away from me, but you know how little kids are. At least he didn’t cry. I hate it when they cry.

1)He took my chips….2) You dropped your chips…3) Dropped them right into Jerry’s fingers that were clutched around the chips. I saw the whole thing. If he had something besides chips, I’d blackmail him.

Sheila: I’m Sheila, and I don’t want to be a secret anymore! This right here is a bunch of cow-tickey. Murdo Girl, do you really think you can be Next Pres with people gettin over-ripe lemons and stealing a little kids chips? Being an informant has been a lifelong dream of mine. Now, you better listen up or I’ll go right out on Main St. and thumb a ride with Thelma Lou and Louise, and that lame Sicnarf, who can’t even dribble a basketball.

At that moment, Murdo Girl sits up straight in her chair, takes her hat off and begins to look a little more Presidential.Teresa’s glasses start to sparkle. You can feel it in the room. A new day is dawning at Murdo Girl Coyote Headquarters. All because when an aggressive Draper girl talks, everybody listens.

Sherri: Can I just add to that brilliant oration? So far, all I have gotten to draw is a photograh of Barney Fife holding a bullet. It has been well known throughout the community that Barney lost his gun. Didn’t you about fall out when he told that whopper about George Washington? What in blazes are we doing photographic drawings of little kids and dogs for when we’ve got a real crime on our hands? Do you feel safe with the likes of Barney Fife protecting us?

No, Nada, nope, huhuh, YES, forget it

Murdo Girl: Teresa, get yourself right on over to the the Murdo Coyote and talk to Janie. We need to sneak a little bombshell in between all that discourse about the Finks.

The voters will sit up and take notice when they hear about  Barney being without a gun. Sherri, you go with her and draw a picture! Now, where do you suppose we can find another crack up reporter? be on the lookout.

Will Barney share a cell with his soulmate? Will Otis hang his jail keys up for good? Will other Murdo residents complain about the neon lettering on the Murdo Girl Tower? Will Jerry get his hands on some honest money or will he take his chips and go home? It’s the dawn of a new day in the lives of the voters in Murdo, SD. You can feel the excitement in the air. Now where do you suppose Barney is?

*All photographs and drawings are without the express consent of family members and others.

A brief 4th of July message

I hope you and your families are enjoying all of the festivities happening in our little town today. Our Nation’s Independence Day is a perfect time to learn the history and hear the stories deeply embedded in all who have called Murdo their home. We soak it all up, and that is how we capture the spirit. From the very old to the youngest, everyone’s story becomes part of us. What other’s tell us and what we experience, will live inside our own history to be carried with us always. The Sanderson’s and the Francis’s, all storytellers, believe stories passed down, are so much more important than things.

 

1. Great Grandpa Gus Gustafson saying the Pledge of Allegiance with the little ones on Thanksgiving. They were directed by Charlie (4), who knows every word.
2. Me with little Ryan Constance who was just born Saturday. (She’s Connie like to me.) My middle name is Constance too, after my Grandmother Francis.
3. Grandpa and Grandma Sanderson were the epitome of grandparenting. They truly enjoyed their roll in our lives.
4. Grandpa’s brother Arlo (Sandy) Sanderson, Great Aunt Tet Sanderson, who worked at Sanderson’store for many years, and another of Grandpa’s sisters, Melitha. When I was born, Great Aunt Melitha came from Iowa to help Mom.

Around Murdo

Teachers, schoolmates, friends, and family

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Murdo, South Dakota… where we spend our time together

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The race for Next Pres heats up

 Tomorrow will be a day to create more fun and tell more stories. We’ll have fairs, debates, fundraisers, and more. We have added a Town Crier, and a Communications Liaison to an already huge bunch of unpaid, yet hardworking locals. (There are a few who are not so local, but they are relatives of Murdoites.) The poles (located wherever the pole vault and the high jump thingy are), continue to clear higher and higher goals for the Coyote Party Candidate, Murdo Girl, and The Lone Wolf Candidate, Barney Fife. This race to become “Next Pres,” continues tomorrow, (or tonight if I can’t stand it any longer.)

Do we have what it takes to finally eliminate  out of control politicians? They won’t even see us coming.

THE CANDIDATES

Which photo do you think I should go with for my campaign? I have the worst time making important decisions.

This is Murdo Girl and Barney Fife, and we approved this message

If you didn’t read last weeks activities, please catch yourself up. Thank you!

It’s getting close to the 4th of July in Murdo, SD, and the town is buzzing about the upcoming celebration. The two local candidates for President have called an unprecedented cease of the shenanigans in honor of the holiday. It’s probably a good idea, because they both managed to cause much disdain amongst the voters this past week. Here is what was reported in the Holiday addition of The Murdo Coyote.

From the Murdo Girl camp

Lav Yekcel, Publicity Stunt Coordinator, for the Murdo Girl Coyote campaign has issued the following statement:

The Murdo Girl Campaign really screwed up with that last publicity stunt. Parents and children throughout the 3 county area are, for lack of a better word, mad as hops! It seems some comments, and a few photos were leaked to the press. Well, in full disclosure I hand carried them to the Murdo Coyote office myself. Anyway, some took offence to the photos of the two children, crying and sticking out their tongues. The caption was. “Grandchildren against Barney.”

 

Let me tell you, the outpouring of public disgust, put a real stink on the whole town. Therefore, I have decided to try to get back on your good side and plead for mercy, primarily because I need my job. (See the little girl in the photo above.) Parents, please educate your precious imps that we were not talking about that purple Barney. We meant no harm to that moneymaking icon who has become the obsession of those that think a purple, singing, stuffed animal is the only thing that matters in their sadly, small lives.

We all had Barney Birthday Parties and all but one of us have small lives..we’re small

No, that is not the Barney we were referring to. We were talking about Deputy Sheriff, and Lone Wolf candidate for President, Barney Fife. We can’t say a nasty thing about him until the day after tomorrow, when the 4th of July festivities are over, at which time, you’ll get an earful.

We have all had Barney Birthday parties, some more than others

From The Barney Fife Camp

Four score and seven years ago, without meaning harm to anyone, a bunch of pirates dumped tea off a boat sailing to Valley Forge. George Washington was on that boat. George had but one little bullet. His men were tired and hungry, so George took off his boots and waded into the Missouri River. The very same river that separates Pierre and Ft. Pierre, SD. While he was wading, then swimming to shore, his gun went missing. He had the lone bullet, but no gun. He was going to shoot a Wolf with his Lone bullet, but instead, he fashioned a fishing pole out of some tree branches and caught some fish. You can give a man a fish and he’ll eat right then, but if you have a chance, teach him how to catch fish so he can last awhile until he finds his gun and a Wolf.

This is the much maligned Deputy Sheriff, and Lone Wolf candidate for President. Ya just got to feel for George Washington, who went on to be our first President, even though he lost his gun. This is also to educate you voters out there just how the Lone Wolf party came to be. It started with that proud, brave, man without a gun. (At which time, Barney requested that we describe him in the article as sniffing and blowing his nose. He is also in full uniform, almost.)

The New Photographic Drawer for the Murdo Girl Campaign agreed to provide us with the photographic drawing of Deputy Barney Fife holding the “Lone Bullet.” She also provided the Photographic drawing of another Barney shown above. Good Job Sherri!!

See you all at the Fireworks on Monday…Happy Presidents Day

You Got a Job to do? You better give it to the Queen. She’s a real overachiever.

Murdo Girl Campaign Headquarters (Basement of the Jones County State Bank)

Murdo girl: Well, after an event such as we had yesterday, I think it’s important to reflect on what we all learned from participating in the first ever”Coyote and Lone Wolf Parade.” Who wants to go first?

Murdo Girl Grandchildren against Barney

Crickets Crickets Crickets

Murdo girl: Speaking of crickets, has anyone seen our crack up reporter Yram Sicnarf today? I believe the last time I saw her, she was riding around all over with Thelma Lou and Louise, I wonder what that was about?

Lav: I know! It’s one of my well thought out publicity stunts. I had the idea that Yram could get in good with Barney Fife’s girlfriend Thelma Lou, and maybe dig up some dirt. We’ve got to get some dirt on somebody Murdo Girl.

Murdo Girl: I agree Lav. You’re just one more failed publicity stunt from being out of a job. I don’t think Jerry appreciated much that you stuck your nose in his business. Did we even get one red cent out of anybody’s couch? Which I believe was your idea!!

Jerry: No, but we got everything else. We got socks, toothpicks, lots of potato chips, and one of those battery operated nose hair clippers..we might be able to sell those nose hair clippers to old Otis Campbell. Have you seen the nose hair on that man… not to mention the hair coming out of his ears…

Murdo Girl: (Interrupting Jerry) Thanks for the report Jerry, but Otis did a good job for us yesterday, and we don’t want to take advantage. Thanks to Otis, Deputy Sheriff and Lone Wolf candidate for POTUS, is in for a liiitle bitty surprise. Geez Jerry, slow down on those potato chips, all that salt will make you thirsty, and we’re about to have a severe shortage of free water. Now Lav, What kind of dirt do you think Yram is gonna get out of Thelma Lou and Louise?

Lav: Well, Murdo Girl, It’s kind of a double gift. When Thelma Lou and Louise came in yesterday they mowed down all the Wall Drug signs from here to Rapid City. They’re going to double back, and stick them all back into the dirt, but turn them around in such a way, they’ll direct all the tourists to Murdo. Another money saver for the campaign. Barney doesn’t even know about it because he’s over at the Courthouse making trouble for the Queen who’s trying to get all her petitions petitioned. (Lav is referring to the petitions to change the name of the water towers to Murdo Girl Towers, and to move Wall Drug to Murdo.)

Murdo Girl: There ya go Lav, sticking your nose into Jerry’s business again. That’s not the kind of dirt you need to be digging up! I guess you’ve all figured out that trying to become President of the United States isn’t a job for sissies. I have a meeting with the Water Board in a few minutes so we’ve got to wrap this up. I want them to know I’m against Water Boarding. That’s another thing on my platform. Now get out there and do what your paid to do, even if you don’t get paid to do it. It’s privilege enough to be supporting the next President of the United States of America.

Lav: Only half of them next Pres. We only had time to file in 25 states. We’ll catch the other 25 next election. Say, next Pres, did you ever finish up your platform? I saw a cute pair of platform shoes over at the Gambles Store.

Murdo Girl: Funny you should say, say Lav. Our Grandpa Sanderson says say all the time doesn’t he? He’ll say, Say! How about that Parade??

Now let’s get out there in Murdo Girl World and make it happen! Lav, I want you to get over to the Methodist Church and ask the basement cooks if they’ll provide the goodies for the bake sale fundraiser at Fern’s.

Pete doesn’t really want me coming over there anymore, but he said he likes the idea of free water, so the rest of you are welcome. Jerry, you put some feelers out about an all community garage sale fundraiser. Maybe we can put some empty coffee cans around town too for donations. We gotta think outside the box. That’s how I thought of cans. I’ll go track down Yram and the Queen, and see if Otis has let himself out of the cell yet. GO TEAM COYOTE!

Barney Fife Campaign Headquarters (The Jones County Jailhouse)

Barney: (In a whinny voice) Now Thelma Lou and Louise where in tarnation have you been? I’ve been trying to hold down the fort here and keep an eye on that conniving Queen all by myself. (sniff) A gun doesn’t help much in this situation.

Thelma Lou: We’ve been over at Fern’s talking to some truckers. We’ve been talking you up big time sweet cakes. There’s a lotta truckers out there that would love to see you in the Big House.

Barney: (still whining), Now Thelma Lou, how many times do I have to tell you it’s the White House, not the Big House. (sniff, sniff, and more sniff).

Otis: Hey Barney, I can’t find the key in this jail. I’ve never been in this jail before. I kinda like it. It’s got a nice view of the zoo out this little window. I’ve always liked the zoo.

Barney: Now Otis, that’s not the zoo, that’s a big dog looking through the bars on that window. You must still be inebriated. With all I’ve got to do in this Lone Wolf campaign, now I’ve gotta stop and give you a sobriety test. (Strolls over and gets the key ring off the wall and hands it to Otis.) The key ring is in the same place as it was in Mayberry, you’re just still inebriated that’s all.

Louise with Thelma Lou shooting daggers at her: I have an idea Barney..(saunters over to Barney). We need to find a way to make you look like a hero in this hole in the Wall Murdo town. That’ll get you some votes quicker than scat! The Mudoite voters will be so proud of you Barney, and they’ll feel safe and beholden to you. They’ll forget all about the free ice water at the Wall Drug and the Murdo Girl Towers.

Barney: That’s the best idea I’ve heard yet Louise. (sniffs, pulls up his pants and pats his holster. Then with eyes real big, he pats his gun holster again…) with sheer horror and terror running up and down his spineless, frail, body, he realizes his gun is gone. His face is even more pinched than usual.

To Be Continued

 Will Thelma Lou and Louise become informants and work both sides of the street? Will Fern hire them or will Pete run them off? (Like he did Murdo Girl.) Will Jerry get some money to count or will be continue to eat potato chips and start retaining free water. Will he be able to handle the responsibility of bean counting, cans, AND bingo?

Will the team welcome a new player?

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