Good News!! The Inaugracorination dance was by all accounts a huge success. Most of the recycled-able gowns made it til” lights out,” with a few minor glitches.
Sherri, the Photographic Drawer, had the dress made from several sheets of recycled paper. She had drawn photographs on almost every sheet when bad luck reared it’s ugly head. DM carrying a watering can, followed Pico around all night, because her dress was made from leaves, and had to be watered every 20 minutes. Pico didn’t wait for her leaves to stop dripping before dancing. Sherri slipped and fell, and while thankfully she was uninjured, the drawings got wet and ran all over. Those that could be salvaged will be in The Murdo Coyote’s Special Edition tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to send Jerry over to renew our subscription.
Lav spent most of the night in the lady’s room trying to figure out how to remove the coffee cups and coffee stains without removing her dress. Treason looked all over for her, so she could pick up the used coffee cups, but she ended up using her garbage bag shawl plus one bag from her dress, to pick up all the other trash. If you saw Barnella’s dress, you know it was never meant to be. The rolls of toilet paper all came unrolled, and got drug through the plant dress drippings. It’s a good thing she had the shower curtain to wrap around her.
A I got there late, but her blue cellophane gown held up better than any of the others. She loved it, because if she looked at it through her spy glass, it looked like it was in 3 D. Yram hated her map dress. She actually seemed sort of offended that we thought she would need that many maps to find her way around Murdo. If she would have taken just a minute to look, she would have seen that it provided unending info, like the elevations, average temperatures, Lunar eclipses, closest bathrooms, and average rainfall. You can even find the location of the nearest motel. That’s a whole map right there!
Carol wore the decorated Christmas tree, but we won’t be recycling it in the Brick House this Christmas. She really got into singing, “You ain’t nothin but a hound dog,” on the Karaoke machine and all the balls and a few of the evergreen branches hit the floor. Like Humpty Dumpty, the balls shattered.
As the evening wore on, the tarp covering the Jerald Applebee floor had, water, wet toilet paper, broken Christmas balls, evergreen branches, and ruined photographic drawings strewn from one end to the other. The empty coffee cups and Subway kiddie boxes got cleaned up earlier or you wouldn’t have been able to even walk in there.
About 9:30ish, Murdo girl, who had filled all her red and white shopping bags with Subway leftovers and bottled Murdo Girl Tower water, waddled up to the mic on the karaoke machine and said, “We’re going to shut this thing down before someone gets hurt!” Don’t you just feel immense pride in having that kind of “take charge” girl for our Next Pres? After the shut down announcement she lip synced “Good night Irene.”
We did have a few curious faculty members and other Murdo townspeople peek in the door, but they probably felt like they were under-dressed, because none of them actually came through the door. Besides, Bart, Smart, and Braveheart, got bored and started shooting spit wads at each other with the leftover Subway straws. I think they scared some dancers off.
Well, that’s pretty much everything in a nutshell. A real nutty nutshell, if you know what I mean.
Wait! I haven’t seen the Queen! Well so much for getting to bed early. I sure hope she doesn’t ruin the Rose Garden Room drapes, because they can’t be replaced for a while, and they cost a fortune to dry clean.
Missing: Queen E.
Will anyone knowing the whereabouts of Queen E. please contact the Brick House at 669-Murdo? If no one answers leave a brief message at the tone with your name and number and we’ll get right back at ya. That reminds me, I need to send Jerry over to pay the phone bill. If the phone is disconnected, just tape a note to the door.
We are very concerned about Her Highness. She was last seen at the Inaugracorination Dance wearing the red velvet drapes from the Rose Garden Room. She made an additional fashion statement by hanging the brocade draw ropes down the front. (Like Carol Burnett in Gone with the Wind.) Don’t let the large broach fool you. It’s fashioned out of tinfoil.
If you find the Queen and/or the Drapes, please return them, no questions asked. Don’t even think about a ransom because we have all our beans tied up in insoluble investments, and it would take a month of Sundays to get them out. Maybe even longer.
And so it begins…The Team Coyote Administration’s Reign.