Those 70ish Girls

“You’re in big trouble, Lav, with these G-Men,” ex top athlete Eddie whispered to Lav, taking her aside. “You stole an extra bbq meal in front of hundreds of people and even in front of a US Senator! The Lions members, Mr. Winterbottom and Duke Looney are witnesses as well. It’s lookin’ bad. I think we need MG here to help and use some of her ten dollar words.”

Lav looked depressed, “If you think so, Eddie. I’m not sure MG can afford
ten dollar words, especially after the Deadwood trip. Those slot machines really hypnotized her.”
Art Columbo and Smart Kojak, came closer. Mean, intimidating  and menacing were words that came to mind as Lav and Eddie stared. And those words were free.

“We need you to come with us for questioning M’aam. Winterbottom and Duke haven’t filed charges. They might go easy on you. However, you can ride in the back with the Senator. First we have to drive by the Murdo/Odrum town sign though, so the Senator can stop by it. He likes to clean and polish it and see his reflection in the sign.”

Eddie looked surprised. “Really!?! So you won’t need my help? I can draw a complete sketch of the auditorium and even the backstage scene of the so called crime, if you like. I can also outline one of our big bb games we played here!”

Just then MG ran up to the stern, mean, intimidating, menacing… you get it…G-Men.
“What are you doing to my Cousin?” she yelled.

Eddie blurted out, “They’re accusing Lav of stealing an extra meal she didn’t pay for, MG.”
“What? Lav is my cousin and she is just trying to get her $35 worth. Granted, she is cheap, in more ways than one, but I can help her. I will pay the extra $35 meal ticket, plus I will throw in a copy of my latest book…autographed even. Please forgive her.”

As Art and Smart thought about this, the Senator quickly walked by them coming outside from the auditorium with his bottle of Windex and micro fiber rag in hand. “Let’s go, men. I am ready to go clean up the sign outside town,” he said. Officer Smart ran after him to the black SUV and opened the door for the Senator.

“So we’re all settled on the stolen meal then, Mr. Columbo?” MG asked.

“Well, okay. Mrs. Columbo would like me to look the other way in this case and besides, we can’t usurp Murdo PD’s jurisdiction. We’re clear here. Oh, wait. One more thing. Officer Braveheart sent you a message. He said to tell you he misses the Brickhouse gang, but he loves his promotion to top Secret Service adviser at another house. A white one. ”With that he was gone.”

Lav gave her cousin a big hug, Eddie shook hands with them. The good old friend (some guy named Ralph) texted Lav:

-come out to the Buffalo. Do you know what their special is? Let’s meet up. I want you to see this cool mug I won today.

We’re Art, Smart and Braveheart…or something like that. We’re going back to the big house…er we mean the white house…yeah, the white house…