Have you ever seen anything like it? Murdo Girl and Lav started out on a road trip just last week. The first day they picked up a dog who was standing by the river. It must be that his owner passed away and left him homeless because he sure seemed depressed. It wasn’t long until Lucky began to feel really important, because…well, not to run ’em down or anything,…sometimes those girls just don’t think right. 

They sort of felt bad when they got run out of Murdo. The town made them feel like they were invited to leave. Is not being able to hold down a job at that Prairie Pizza place good enough reason to show them the road? My goodness that place has standards higher than the Queen was at the Rodeo. Amazingly she came down unscathed, but the bull antlers like to have scared her to death.

After meeting up with Lucky, Lav and MG motored 20 miles south of Murdo and, what do you know? They stumbled onto the Cowboy’s movie making ranch. The whole gang was there, plus a few more.

So, they made a real interesting movie, called “Take 2.” Then when that milk cow dried up, they hit the road and got as far as the town of White River itself, and guess what? They participated in a rodeo. It was great fun, but there’s not much money in rodeo making, so they hit the road again.

Hey…It’s AC! What am I supposed to do with these horses? Whose truck is this anyway!

Lav: How far are we going to get today MG?

MG: Why don’t you just ask me how much gas we have. That tells the story. Are they all still behind us?

Lav: It was really nice of the Cowboy to give us that VW van. He even indicated that he might come and see us once we get settled.

MG: Is that what shrugging your shoulders means in the Cowboy ‘s language?

Lav: Durned if I know…

MG: Well, I was going to try to get to the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD, but I can’t make that happen. There’s a map in the glove box, point your finger to a town we can stop at on the way.

Lav: Well, it’s 151 miles to Mt. Vernon, I hope there’s something fun to do there. Hey! guess what? Is says on the map the NASCAR Races are in Mt. Vernon this year. I’ve always wanted to drive a car in a big NASCAR Race. I sure hope we make it, cause they start tomorrow. Hey! I’ve got a good idea. Let’s stop by the Pioneer Auto Museum and see if Ruben will let us borrow a few cars.

If you want something bad enough, sometimes all you have to do is ask…and sometimes you’ve got to get a hold of Ruben in the dark of the night.

So, Mount Vernon it was…and it never will be the same again…ever!

Sissy couldn’t wait to get out of the museum to start serving her cake. I had some…It’s kind of dry.

And who would already be out on the track with her Pacer car? Sissy’ s sister, Stephanie Spielberg.

TC seems to be getting pretty friendly with some guy named Doyle. Probably cause he has a wrecker.

Kodak is a favorite to win. She’s going around these punks.

Hey look at Sherri, one of the punks.. And she’s having a virgin Bloody Mary while she drives.

Somebody should tell the hat cake lady she’s going the wrong way. Looks like she plans to take a nap later.

Lav:  Don’t you just love all these people clapping and taking pictures of us?

MG: It’s kind of hard to see with this helmet on. Now why did we have to wear a helmet instead of our crowns?

And the Winner is?

Looks like Lucky has it by a nose, or a tire…Good job DM. It’s got to be tough having to announce… and race!

 

This guy is cheering for Lucky

And so the Sun sets on another beautiful south South Dakota Evening. I just hope the gang gets their cars back to the museum by morning.

As the gang makes their way back to Murdo, they aren’t aware of what the Cowboy’s thinking…And the Phantom Wrangler has some plans of his own.

 

Toodaloo Mt. Vernon…Now where can I get some gas?

 

 

It’s the morning after the big Hoedown Throwdown, and things have finally settled down a bit. Most of the cast and crew ended up tubing on the White River.  Only the animals had sense enough to go to bed.

Sissy was a real trooper. She went through three water falls without dropping her cake.

Lav Got a little carried away with her “no hands” and grounded herself on a big rock. “Ouch!”

Who is that with TC? I know I’ve seen that cake somewhere before.  Swim TC, SWIM!! Throw her a net please!

Well, that was last night. The sheriff finally came and told them to hightail it back to their remodeled on the inside mansion and eat mashed potatoes.

Well, It’s hard to believe the movie is finally in the can. Yup…We picked up all the pieces that ended up on the cutting room floor and threw them in the can. Believe me when I say it was a very big trash can. I won’t show you the movie, but I will let you read the script for the final scene of, “Take 2.”

The scene begins with Dr. Longhorn and Dr. Howliday in the old pickup truck headed for a rodeo in White River. Lucky is happily sitting between them. They are hauling a couple of bucking broncos.

“Hey! Are our horses supposed to have riders on them?”Never look a gift horse in the mouth, Lucky. 

Lav: Well, Dr. Howliday, aren’t you glad I talked you into rodeoing? It’s too bad we didn’t make it as veterinarians. All those years of school down the tubes. Funny though, I don’t remember going to school all those years. Well, at least if our horses get sick, we can doctor them. You too Lucky. (Lucky growls).

MG: Well Dr. Longhorn, It just wasn’t fun at the ranch anymore. The lines for the Jacuzzi were too long, and I got sort of sick of mashed potatoes.

Hmm, it sounds like the script is imitating real mansion life. Lav and Val playing rodeoers? This should be worth the price of admission. There are a couple of other vehicles with the cast and crew behind them. The only ones missing are the Cowboy and the Phantom Wrangler. Well, we plan on travelin a fer piece. maybe we’ll mosey on into them again.

They soon pull up to the White River fairgrounds. There are cars everywhere. It looks pretty festive…just like a real rodeo.

Well cut my legs off and call me shorty…Jerry and the family got a singing gig..Yee Haw!!

Lets get to the action..We’ve got some brave Cast and Crew.

They ridiculed us. They called us  namby-pamby city slickers. One thing about the take 2 cast and crew.  We pony up. Yup you can put your money on us. What we lack in brains, we make up in brawn.

I like to start off small

I can do anything as long as I have Odrum with me.

Oh dear, I’m on the program. It says “We’ll see how high her Highness can go?”

That DM..No matter what he’s doing, he always has football on his brain. Hmm, from the looks of things, he might need that helmet.

What do we have here…Dueling concession stands? “

“Get your hands off my hat cake cowboy.”

“Sorry Cowboy…I only have enough tea for me and the city slickers”

Giddy up, I’m right behind ya’.

The Cowboy and the Phantom Wrangler…Huh..Still hightailing it out of here. Does anybody know where they’re goin?”

So, the sun sets on another south South Dakota day. Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

( I didn’t write the following cool cowboy tune, but Jerry’s family sure can sing it!)

Well I wake up in the mornin’, I brew my coffee hot and strong.
I get out my ole guitar, and try to write a song.
An them larks are singin, oh lord, just outside.
And I’m stuck here in this kitchen tryin’ to write.
And I’m writin’ these cowboy songs. yodellehe, cowboy songs
Just me and my beat up ole guitar.
Cowboy songs, yodellehe, cowboy songs
Well maybe one of these cowboy songs is gonna make me a star.
Now Hank Williams Jr. writes ’em rough, and sings ’em tough.
And Charlie Daniels sings a song about the devil.
And Waylon and Willie sing about, whatever they like.
And I’ll probably be sing these cowboy songs for the rest of my life.
And writin’ these cowboy songs. yodellehe, cowboy songs
Just me and my beat up ole guitar.
Cowboy songs,…

 

 

Here we are back at The Cowboy’s ranch. The cast and crew thoroughly enjoyed one pepperoni pizza night. The Exec Producer and her twin sister Sissy outdid themselves in the dessert department, with a delightful Italian cream cake served with a smooth green tea that had just a hint of a citrus bouquet.

As I look around the newly remodeled inside of the ranch house, I realize it has become home to the cast and crew. I just hope I’m not around when they all get kicked out. It will be a sad day for sure. Let me show you a few pics of the not yet remodeled outside of the mansion.

 Not too many improvements to the outside yet…It’ll help when the outhouse is fully functional.

When you have seen some of the remodeled inside, you will be able to imagine that being a member of the cast and crew the Cowboy has assembled to make a movie about two lady veterinarians is like falling into quick sand and having Lassie get there in time to save you…no, wait..luckier than that…It’s like winning the lottery and you have no poor relatives, or being the only one to escape from a burning building. You get it right? It’s the kind of luck only the clueless have.

Hey!! We heard that!!

As the renovations have made the inside so comfy, it has been increasingly more difficult to get the C & C to memorize their lines let alone be able to hit their marks. They feel they have risen above their respective parts. Are you kidding me?? Lav and MG think they’re too big to play a country veterinarian in a blockbuster movie? Do they know how many highly paid actors would run over their own grandmother to get a much coveted part like this?

Forgive my outburst…It ain’t my job…That’s what Exec Producers and Casting Directors, and Writer persons get paid to do right!

********************************

Day 3 of filming the next blockbuster movie…Take 2

Exec Producer: Oh darn..I broke a nail. It must have been when the maid served me hot tea and I said, “Ouch!” and hit my fingernail on my front tooth.

The evil maid and a favorite pic of Stephanie Spielberg and her sister, Sissy Spacek Spielberg. They’re identical twins. Twins run in the family.

Director with a megaphone: I’m not happy with the lighting. It’s too dark in this barn. Let’s move this scene to the big animal room inside the mansion.

Casting director: This doesn’t work for me. How am I supposed to cast a dog who is not blind, but has to pretend like it? On top of that, he has a seeing eye person walking around in a harness, trying to sniff out where the blind dog should or shouldn’t go. A blind dog can get along without a harnessed human.

 MG and Lav: She might have a point…Are their harnesses tight? I can’t see that far. Where are we going?

Arf: Like I’m supposed to know…I’m playing a blind dog, but my best guess would be the funny farm: Jeez..sorry for your bad luck.

Uh oh, there is a low flying plane…no wait, that’s AC herding buffalo…What Buffalo? They’re all inside the large animal room.

No this is the Jacuzzi tub, and I’m next.

 

Don’t worry Tattle Cowboy. I’m taking notes. This is unbelievable. Who are you gonna tell?

Well as the sun sets EARLY on another south South Dakota day, here comes the Cowboy to check stuff out.

I still think we can get a part in this movie… They need mice don’t they? Will we have to be blind? We could get a 3rd mouse. Yeah…3 blind mice!! let’s go see if he has anymore small animal parts.

I’m the camera person. If it weren’t for sunrise and sunset, I wouldn’t have anything to do.

**************************************

And so the day ends. The cast and crew don’t know they are being observed by the Phantom Wrangler. I don’t even want to know what he’s thinking. I just hope he keeps phantoming around.

 

 

 

 

Let me paraphrase what is happening today at the soon to be famous Cowboy Ranch. Everyone is twitterpated because today is the first day of rehearsal. Producer/writer Stephanie Spielberg finished writing the first scenes of the new movie and will be meeting with all the actors and crew to do a run through. The Cowboy plans to be there which is why everyone is a little nervous, and rightly so. He has the future of a great many people in his hands and nobody wants to mess up.

Hi…I’m the camera girl…my name is Kodak Kadoka. I was named after a camera and a town. I also do some freelance bull riding.

Producer Stephanie: I hope everyone is as excited as I am to start production on this fabulous movie. I’m sometimes amazed by my own talent. My sister, Sissy is going to give everyone a copy of the script, but don’t look at it until I say you can. Sissy, of course is the assistant of the director with a megaphone. Her full name is Sissy Spacek Spielberg, but we just call her Sissy.  We’re identical twins, except for my unfortunate musical birthmark.

Anyway…Have you all been given a script? Okay, let me explain the setting. We are all at the mansion which has been turned into a veterinary clinic on the inside. We’ve taken the back half of the place and turned it into an old country clinic with a barn outback. Dr. Longhorn and Dr. Howliday are still pretty poor, because people in the country, who live on farms and ranches, don’t like to share the wealth. They aren’t at all like our benefactor, the rich Cowboy. Oh, hi Mr. Cowboy, I didn’t see you there…how nice. The first scene takes place in a barn, with a cow who is having trouble giving birth. Lav, since you are playing the big animal doctor, you are helping poor Bessie or whatever her name is push that baby out!

Lav: How am I going to pretend I’m helping Bessie push her baby out, and it says here I only have one word to say…”Push!”

Producer Stephanie: Oh my dear, you won’t be pretending. There is a cow giving birth in the barn right now, just waiting for you to help her out. Didn’t I tell you I was good? As soon as we’ve filmed the scene, I’ll fix you some chamomile tea. Oh dear…I think that’s the wrong cow…yes it’s this cow over here.

 

Lav: Push Bessie Push. I can’t look, is she pushing?

Director with a megaphone: Cut! You said too many words. Stick to your lines please… Take two!

Lav: I don’t look cute. I would rather play a cute person. It stinks real bad in here!

 

Producer Stephanie: We’re going to have to take a break. The men are here to deliver the outhouse. It smells even worse than the barn. Maybe we should just ditch the Bessie giving birth idea. Maybe a horse…Would you like to help a horse, dear?

At about that time, Lav/Doctor Longhorn starts to scream. Help!! The baby cow is coming!! I don’t know nothin about birthing no babies. (I think Stephanie stole that line from Gone with the Wind).

Director with a megaphone: Start rolling, this could be it!! This is sensational…where’s Dr. Longhorn?

 

Tattletale Cowboy: I hate to tell on her, but I think she passed out!

Producer Stephanie seems to be nonplussed…Does anything get to her? The only thing that gives her away is all the tea she’s consuming. She won’t be able to stay away from the stinky outhouse tonight.

Producer Stephanie: Slurp..slurp, Well then, let’s move onto the small animals. They’re inside the fake clinic. Come MG/Dr. Howliday, you will be working on a dog with a highly contagious disease.

The Casting Director: I have been interviewing dogs all morning. He is by far the sickest.

MG/ Dr. Howliday: Yikes!! Is that dog really sick? How about I save a sick bear? We can use Odrum. He’s a small bear.

Executive producer Stephanie: Tea and cake time.!!!..Come on Sissy. Let’s start baking and brewing.

Good-bye

++++++++

This is hilarious…I said no to the sick dog part. Don’t tell the Tattler Cowboy where I am.

++++++++++++++++

You okay ma’am?

We’re auditioning for the small animal parts tomorrow

Well, as the sun sets on another beautiful South Dakota evening, We can reflect on today. We thought it went quite well didn’t you?

South Dakota Sunset by Amber Diehm

 

Who knew it took so many people to make a movie. I’m not just talking about the movie stars. There is a ton and I mean a ton of directors and producers needed to get it all done; and don’t even get me started on the assistants. We’ve picked up a few people, but I would still consider this to be a skeleton crew.

You have to hand it to Lav and MG…Even with a skeleton crew, they manage to be seen a lot. That director guy told them to ditch the crowns…It looks like that ain’t happening. On another positive note, the Cowboy has started to talk a little more. This morning, he said, “Don’t touch my Harley!!!”

Here comes everybody from breakfast. It’s cornbread day. (Pretty much everybody likes it, because they can get it to go for all three meals.) All of them are headed for the drawing room of the NRM. I get tired of writing, newly remodeled mansion, so I’m just going to say NRM. Hey!! There’s a couple of new people.

The director with the megaphone: CAN EVERYONE HEAR ME? It has come to our attention that in order to make a movie, you’re supposed to have a producer, so the Cowboy went out and hired one. She is so excited about joining the crew, but I heard she’s not too happy with the writers, which doesn’t make sense because we haven’t hired any yet. I would like you all to meet our new Executive Producer, and make-up artist, Stephanie Spielberg:

Stephanie Spielberg: Hi all…I’m so happy to be here at the Cowboy’s newly remodeled mansion to produce this exciting movie. I’m going to pass out a paper with a few bullet points listing my qualifications. Some of you might have heard of my cousin twice removed, Steven Spielberg. He’s not much to look at, but he’s very talented…and rich!

I will encourage the girls to wear their crowns. They might be veterinarians, but they’re not dead. Personally, I just love music. I always have a song in my head. I’ve even chosen the background music for our western.

• I have good creative vision. I can make up a good story at the drop of a hat.
• I’m self-motivated. I don’t even need an alarm clock.
• I’m good at motivating people. Who do you think got the assistant to serve cake? I will continue to support her by offering a calming chamomile  tea.
• I’m good at problem-solving. I will write the script…you’ll love it!
• I understand the creative processes of film making. Who interviewed the organist? Can he play saxophone, drums, piano and clarinet? I can teach him, and I’ll also throw in a few drum lessons.
• I have excellent communication skills. I talk on the phone, text, and talk on the phone.

Lav: Can I be excused? I have cornmeal stuck in my teeth.

TC: (She has been sitting there quietly.) I’m a town Crier. Can I have a part in the movie?

Stephanie Spielberg: Absolutely. What will it take for you to trade your cheese head in for a cowboy hat?

I’m the Tattler Cowgirl. I snoop around and tell on people. Don’t tell her, but I have my cheese head under my hat.

A I who used to be the Aggressive Informant is practicing to be an Air-born Cowboy in the movie. She flys around in an airplane and herds cattle. Sorry A I, I had to change your initials to AC. I think it sounds cooler anyway.

AC: I flew around this ranch all day, and I didn’t see one cow. Lav came with me and she didn’t see one cow either.

The Director with the megaphone: Lav’s dog Nincompoop drove a bunch of longhorns in here yesterday. If you two didn’t see them, you must have had something else on your minds.

AC becomes very quiet, and Lav already left to get the corn out of her teeth.

************************************

So the beautiful sun sets on another southern South Dakota day. I don’t know about all of you, but this thing is wearing me out. I almost forgot. We added to our staging and I heard tomorrow will be the first rehearsal.

Be there at sunrise

Photo of the sunrise by Dianna Kenobbie Diehm or Amber Diehm.

If they don’t give me my lines tonight, I’m going on strike, or my name isn’t Lucky, Soo’-TAH, Arf.

The background music for the movie…Take Two..A real western song. Straight out of Nashville.

**********************************

 

 

 

Things don’t seem quite right as we look in on the gang members participating in The Great South Dakota Road Trip. You will notice I changed the name, because it appears Lav and MG are never going to get out of South Dakota. Right now they’re staying in a boarded up hotel near White River. The Cowboy told  Lav and MG their entire entourage was there to make a movie, which was surprising to Lav and MG, since they didn’t know the gang was going to be in a movie. This should be interesting.

Lav and MG have been shown to their rooms.

Lav: (She’s pounding on MG’s door.) Let me in MG, please let me in! She screams Eeeeek!

MG: (Opens the door). Get in here quick! Are you scared because I’m scared…have you ever seen anything like this? Who would have thought there would be a big old spooky mansion clear out here in the middle of nowhere. It’s dirty too…the lady we worked for at the Chalet Motel sure wouldn’t have put up with this! At least we don’t have to worry about washing the windows.

Lav: Your room is a lot nicer than mine, MG. Where’d you get that red gown?

MG: My guess is that someone in the entourage told them I liked to wear long red formals and be in parades. Look around Lav and see if there’s a tinfoil crown too!

The Cowboy: (Over the intercom) Excuse Me!! You best come down the stairs you just went up, cause supper hour only lasts 15 minutes. The special tonight is scrambled eggs. Snowflake will seat you.

Lav and MG find the dinning room…no problem. They both get misty eyed as they anticipate seeing the gang again. It’s been a long time since yesterday. Hmm…the gang isn’t there, but it’s easy to see how Snowflake got her name.

Snowflake: Sit down wherever you want to. Just give me a minute to clear off the table. How many eggs do ya all want?

MG looks around the room and sees Queen E. sitting there. She kind of blends into the background, so it wasn’t easy to spot her unless you were really looking for her.

MG: Queen E. !! We are so glad you’re here aren’t we Lav? Where is the rest of the gang?

Queen E : Oh, they went to Pizza Hut. I should have gone with them. I forgot this was egg night. I was looking at the To Go menu, but all its got on it is fly specks and ketchup.

Lav: We heard through the rumor mill that we’re here to make a movie. That was a real happy surprise to MG and me. Who’s the star?

Queen E: I don’t know, Sherri is auditioning everyone. I wouldn’t look for a decision real soon though. You know how she likes to draaaw everything out!

Lucky: I’ve been standing like this for hours. I’m auditioning for a staring role in the movie.

Sherri the casting director: Scratch your left ear with your right paw and bark three times. Do you like to chase red frisbees? This movie requires a lot of frisbee catching,

MG: What’s the name of this movie anyway?

Cowboy: I believe I should answer that question. He saunters into the room like he owns the place.

I own the place and I have recently come into a chunk of change, so I’m investing it in a movie. I heard your help yourself to self help wasn’t exactly feeding the wolves, so I called and talked to Ruben. He said he’d send a bus full, and he did.

MG: Who is Ruben?

Lav: Don’t you remember MG? He’s the guy who answers the telephone.

MG: Everywhere?

Cowboy: As I was saying, I hired two extremely talented writers and told them I wanted a movie about two country veterinarians. You two came highly recommended. You’re the only ones who have a dog. If you want the part, you’ve got it!

Lav and MG: What? What? Wow! Wow! Jeez! Jeez!

Cowboy: Hold it! Hold it! The name of the movie is:

“Take 2”

Lav and MG: Love it! Love it!

Cowboy:  Ah…yah: Don’t say another 2 words. There are two vets….And what do doctors always tell their patients? Jerry the organ player walks in.

Jerry the organ player: (All movies have organ music in the background.) I know what they say: “Take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning…very clever,”

The organ might need a little tune up.

Well, as the sun sets on another beautiful South Dakota night, Lav and Murdo Girl decide to take the parts in the movie, which will most likely catapult them to instant fame and with fame comes fortune. Oh, they’re still going to do the road trip. This movie making thing is only only going to take 2 weeks, tops.

Photo by Dianna Kenobbie Diehm