I was going through my week with a reasonable amount of serenity. I wasn’t going to put up Christmas decorations this year because we didn’t get home from our trip until after Thanksgiving and the very next day, I was already behind. Our daughter is having Christmas Eve at her house, so mine really doesn’t have to be decorated.

Then I went to my friend Pat’s house. She already had her 13 plus Christmas trees up and her whole house decorated. I helped her with the yard for about 15 minutes. I didn’t ask her, but I’m sure she has all of her shopping done too. This morning at church, she told me she was still decorating. “For heaven sake what?” I asked. “Are you decorating your decorations?”

“No,” she said. “There are still a few things in the house that don’t have a bow or something on them.” She has a wonderful house to accommodate all of the decorations, and her creativity is amazing. She made a beautiful winter scene out of the styrofoam that was in the box their new television set came in. I’m not kidding. I never would have guessed. Her decorating is never overdone. It’s always beautiful. It’s a place people like to go just to look at everything and be instantly transformed from whining about having so much to do, to thinking, “How in God’s creation does she do all this? I should be able to put up one little tree!”

My  son and granddaughters at Pat and Jerry’s house last year

Pat’s husband Jerry helps haul the crates to the house and back again when everything gets packed away in mid January. I’m always surprised when I go to their house and Jerry doesn’t at least have a bow on his head and a candy cane in his mouth, but so far he’s escaped.. Quite frankly, he’s starting to look a little out-of-place.

Where was I going with all of this? It’s not what I had intended to write about. Oh yes… I decided after seeing Pat and Jerry’s house, I would at least put the tree up, so I did that last night. I looked around the house this morning, and it looked really pitiful with just the tree, so I decided to put my nutcracker collection out. I always put them on top of the kitchen cabinets, which means I have to take everything already up there down, and dust the shelves. (I really only do this because Kip is usually watching football in the living room and he can see me. I want to show him that I do dust.) I really hate dusting.

I was in the middle of all that when I checked my email, which told me I had a message from a Murdo Girl reader. The message included a picture. She said she found my perfect Christmas hat at Walmart. You guessed it. It was a Santa hat with a crown.

So here’s what I did. I dropped everything and drove to my Walmart. I looked all over that store. I searched through everything and I found lots of hats, so of course I had to look at every one of the 100 or so choices looking for…The one with the crown…I left hat and crown-less. When I left home, I told Kip I just had to have that hat. I told him it would probably only cost what? $6.00 tops? Don’t tell him this, but I would have paid at least $30.00 if I could have found it. Did I go home? No..I went to Family Dollar, Dollar Gentril, (as my friend Laura calls it), and Goodwill. No one had a Santa hat with a crown on it.

Thanks Pat and Kerri. I almost had a stress free Christmas. You two set the bar way too high. I’m only halfway through dusting and putting up nutcrackers, and I could have probably found several gifts in the time it took me to search for the crown hat.

But, all is not lost. I got really creative like my friend Pat. I’m exactly where I always am this time of year…Loonier than a Looney Tune.

Give me a little break. I left my real crown locked up in the RV and I forgot to buy a TV at Walmart to get some styrofoam.

BTW..Kip decided he’s going to put up just one of his outside decorations…Buahaha!

I love this sequence of pictures of our granddaughter, Charlie. I know how she feels and what she is thinking.

1) “I know you want me to smile, but I need a minute.”

2) “I’m going to pretend you’re not there. I need a minute.”

3) “You just don’t get it do you? I need a minute.”

4) “Please, just get out of my face for one MINUTE!”

Some people call it “alone time.” Some say, “I need my space.” Some pout, some have a meltdown, some whimper, and some shout. We all handle it differently, but we all have those moments when things just get to be too much and we’re no longer rational. We’re off when others want us to be on. We’re not feeling the gratitude or appreciation.

Here is my theory.. It all started with the starving children overseas. You know, the ones your parents told you about to guilt you into cleaning your plate.

I never heard the word “stress” when I was growing up. If you have an old Webster’s Dictionary, the definition is something about pressed wood. Now stress is the reason for everything we do that’s bad, like drinking, smoking, eating too much, taking too many sick days, and a multitude of other bad things.

I sometimes think of something my Mother said in the middle of one of her meltdowns. Someone told her that she had no business acting the way she did because she should be grateful that one of the “what ifs,” wasn’t happening to her. What if you didn’t know where your next meal was coming from? What if you or someone you love was fighting some terrible disease?

Mom’s mood didn’t improve one bit, because she was a worrier. She hadn’t thought about some of those things. Now she was worried AND felt ashamed. Her answer? “If people don’t have big things to worry about, they worry about little things.” She had a point. You’ve heard the expression, “Cheer up. Things could be worse.” Sometimes followed by, “So I cheered up and sure enough, things got worse.”

Do we really not have the right to feel like Charlie did unless the very worst has happened? Sometimes, all we need is a minute. If we don’t get it, we might need professional help.

The other side of this is that you must recognize when others need a minute. Like our granddaughter Skyler in the picture above. You have just said “No” to a four year old. They might not be able to articulate it, but in most cases they need a minute to come up with plan B…or maybe you need a minute to think about what their plan B will be.

This time of year, is inherently stressful. We’re all looking for that special gift for the person who already has everything. We want our kids and grandkids to understand the meaning of Christmas, but they still make a list as long as your arm. Be easy on yourself. Ask them what they got for Christmas last year. You might get a look like this.

I’m in favor of having a “Give me a minute day.” A day when all you have to say is, “I need a minute,” and everyone will know if you don’t have that minute to gather yourself, or re-center your life, they will suffer the consequences no matter how many children overseas are starving.

I realize not everyone is going to agree with me. In that case, I’ll give you a minute.

 

 

I’ll never forget the day I met her. I had no idea what I was getting into and neither did she. We didn’t talk much that first day or the next. I think she was surprised each time I showed up. I was a little surprised myself. I was not what she was used to, and she was not what I had expected. With all this going for us, we forged ahead. We thought it would never last, but it did. She was one of the most interesting and entertaining people I have ever met.

We grew to understand each other, and with understanding came respect. She was 84 and had lived her life, but it wasn’t over yet. I was 59, which is an awkward age. All the major decisions had been made and I had enjoyed the rewards of some decisions and endured the consequences of others. Life is long and life is short.

We spent our mornings together going through our routine. I fixed her breakfast, which was usually spicy sausage patties, eggs and toast with marmalade. Sometimes I could get her to take a bath before she ate, sometimes after, and sometimes not at all. She loved to give me a hard time and had some pretty compelling arguments like, “Is it cheaper to take a bath or just wash up? I have to watch my water bill you know.” We made deals like, “If you don’t take a bath today, you have to let me wash your hair tomorrow…deal?” She would have to think about that one, because she never broke a promise. If she made a deal, she followed through.

She spent much of her time fussing over her old dog Rascal and a stray cat she grew attached to. On nice mornings, she would wheel herself out onto the front porch and I would get the folding chair and sit beside her. We watched the hummingbirds drink the nectar from the feeder that hung from the big tree out front. Sometimes she fell asleep in her wheelchair, but other times she told me about her life.

She married young and had 4 children each 2 years apart. Her husband died of cancer when the youngest child was only a few weeks old. She told me she was surprised when she had the first child because her Mother told her the doctor brought the babies. I can only imagine how tough the next years were for her. She outlived 3 husbands and survived hard times, but there were good times too.

She loved to listen to country music on the radio. Her folks had barn dances when she was growing up and her Daddy played the guitar. The music took her back to those days. I love the same kind of music. We would close our eyes and listen as we thought about the memories the songs evoked.

We spent time cleaning and doing laundry. She needed help with things I took for granted. Some things fail us as our bodies age, and it’s hard to accept the help we need. I understood, or at least tried to. I could only say, “That’s what I’m here for.”

She loved my chocolate chip cookies. Her favorite cake was strawberry. Her favorite lunch was a Spam sandwich with cheese and mayo. She loved the hot Spam with jalapenos. She taught me how to mix up cornbread without a recipe. You can tell when you have enough milk, eggs, and cornmeal by the batter. You must never stir it too much. We made fried cornmeal mush like my Grandpa Sanderson made, and ate it with butter and syrup.

She had false teeth and glasses, but never wore either. She could hear a pin drop…if she wanted to. She could be feisty and cantankerous, but she was always contrite afterwards. She had a soft heart, but she could get angry. Then.. as she would say, “Look out!”

Her youngest daughter and her family lived across the street. Her daughter was her momma’s angel. She took the responsibility of meeting all her momma’s needs. She made doctor’s appointments, and took her to them; patiently helping her transfer from the wheelchair to the car. She prepared her suppers, which the family usually ate together. She bought her clothes and groceries, and most importantly… paid attention to her. As moms and daughters do, they fussed at each other sometimes. “Don’t drag your left foot Momma,” I’d hear her daughter say. “You’re going through too much cat food and it’s going to waste.” She was right. Cans of tuna fish were disappearing along with all the cat food. Rascal must have had an iron stomach with all the spicy spam he ate.

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When Kip and I got back from our vacation two days ago, we had 31 messages on our answering machine. One was from Mrs. E’s daughter. “Momma passed away,” she said. “Call me.”

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I went to see her a few times at the nursing home. It didn’t feel right. Maybe because those four years we spent mornings together ended more abruptly than they began. I don’t remember what we did that last day before she got so sick. She went to the hospital first, then to the nursing home. I went to see her right after she got there. She hadn’t been awake yet. She had been there for rehab several years before, after suffering from the stroke that left her partially paralyzed on her left side.

I was standing by her bed when two young aids came into the room. They asked me if I knew anything about her. They were told by nurses who had been there when she was in rehab, that she might swear at them and try to kick them. That made me smile. “She might,” I said. “I hope she does.”

Ron and Barbara on Jamaica Beach…Kip and I with Sammie, Pattie, and Cyndie. ( I couldn’t see very well..my hat was in my eyes.)

Today was day 51 of our road trip and it’s been quite a ride. We’re thankful for all of our family members and friends who welcomed us on our stops; and all those who kept up with my sporadic blogging. We had the most fun any two people traveling with three dogs and a cat can have. We’re home safe and sound. We are tired, but happy.

We spent the last few days in Galveston, TX. It was the perfect ending to our perfect RV vacation, and we got to spend it with Ron and Barbara Spahlinger. I hope they enjoyed spending time with us as much as we loved our time with them. We stayed at the Jamaica Beach RV Park right across from Jamaica Beach. Ron and Barbara have been there several times, but Kip and I had no idea what a treat we were in for. The place is beautiful and the weather was perfect. We spent time in the hot tub, and ate our way through Thanksgiving dinner at the clubhouse, followed by leftovers that evening, and a sumptuous turkey/craw fish gumbo on Friday. They have a huge outdoor movie screen, a putt putt golf course, and a swimming pool. The rates were very reasonable considering all they have to offer.

Ron is an incredibly gifted musician. He and four other talented people who go to our church, formed a group called “Jubilation 5.” Their singing is inspirational beyond belief. I’m struggling to find the words to describe just how good they are.

Here is a photo of them. (I lifted it from Yolie’s FB page.)

The Jubilation 5

Ron is going to sing and facilitate karaoke at the Jamaica Beach RV Park on New Years Eve. Kip and I are going, and Ron said I can sing. Well, he said I may sing. He doesn’t know if I can sing.

Most of you don’t know this about me, but I love to sing. I express myself best through my music. I have been known to inspire multitudes of people with my unique voice and my ability to perform a wide range of musical genres. Most performers just can’t pull it off, but I guess I must be one of a kind or something. As a matter of fact, the only star I can think of in the way of comparing my talent to someone you will no doubt be familiar with.. is Ethel Mertz. She’s Lucy’s friend. Sadly, Lucy hogged the stage, so Ethel rarely got to perform at Ricky’s club.

 

Ron and his shadow led the way to the beach

Barbara snapped this cute picture of the dogs hanging out. They watched Ron make grilled cheese sandwiches after our four mile beach walk. Kip finally got to see a sea turtle at the park.

See the beautiful sand castle Barbara and I made? It even has a moat..okay..we didn’t exactly make it. Two little kids did, but it really does have a moat.

We went to a fun place the night before we left called “The Spot.” I just had a small salad and cheesecake. It was turtle cheesecake. Kip had key lime pie, and Barbara had an eclair. We took it “to go” and Ron made us coffee at their place.

Queen Elizabeth listening to “Jubilation 5.” (She doesn’t really like Ethel Mertz.)

Maybe she’ll like The “Ruination 4.”

(Written Thursday)

It’s Thanksgiving Day and we are in Galveston, TX. We got here yesterday after spending two days in Corpus Christi. While in Corpus, we decided we had to take some time to catch up with mundane things like the laundry. We got the car detailed, and cleaned our cozy little road home. After completing our tasks, we headed for the beach.

We’re going to the beach..Yea! We’re in Corpus Christi and we’re going to the beach!

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Barkaritaville..A bath after the beach

After 6 weeks on the road, our little dogs were looking pretty grubby. We looked around Corpus and found the coolest place to give them a bath. Its called Barkaritaville. They offer full pet grooming, but we opted for the do it yourself “bath station.”

 The station is equipped with  a sprayer that operates in cycles like a car wash. The first step is to shampoo, then rinse. Next on the cycle is a conditioner, followed by another rinse and a blow dry. The last thing you do, is rinse out the tub with a disinfectant spray. The whole thing was $10 per dog, but it was worth it. Cyndie escaped the full deal. She just got brushed out.

With everything spanking clean again, we headed to Jamaica Beach in Galveston, Texas. Some friends who also live in Mabank, have been going Jamaica Beach RV Park for years. They told us about Thanksgiving there  and it sounded like a lot of fun. I’m going to wait to write about it all after we complete our stay. We leave for home on Monday.

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I’ll give you a little picture preview. We’re having a blast with Ron and Barbara. We hope you all had a joyful Thanksgiving too!

Kip and our friends Ron and Barbara Spahlinger walking along Jamaica Beach in Galveston. Our still clean dogs resting after the 4 mile walk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope expected Warren to call her when he got back from visiting his Dad in Wyoming, but she didn’t think he would come right over. She was surprised and happy to see him standing in the hall. Her happiness turned to concern when she got a closer look at him. Warren was visibly upset, but why?

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“What is wrong Warren?” I shoved him into Pearl’s kitchen and shut the door behind us. I didn’t know if I should badger him, or give him a few minutes to settle down. I decided to badger him. “Come on Warren, I couldn’t wait for you to get home, but something bad has happened hasn’t it? Please tell me Warren. You’re scaring me!”

Warren walked over and sat at the kitchen table, so I did too. I was familiar with what I saw when I looked at his face. Not because I had seen him like that..I hadn’t. I had seen the same expression in the mirror. Not since the months after my parents died, had I seen such a tortured expression. Only this time, it was on my best friend.

“Warren,” I pleaded. “You have to tell me what has happened.” My mind was going crazy. I was afraid to hear his answer. I was afraid for him. He looked at me and shook his head as if he could read my mind. I took a deep breath and waited. I had to do something so I got up and poured him a glass of cold water. It wasn’t ice chips, but it was my way of trying to help him feel better. I began to understand why my Mom always brought me a cup of ice chips when I felt sick. After Mom was gone, Grandma brought me ice chips when I was sick with grief and it had upset me even more.

I could barely hear Warren when he spoke.

“Nobody died Hope, and nobody is sick. Well that isn’t exactly true I guess. Nothing is ever going to be the same, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I had to get out of my house, and away from my Mom and Dad. I’m sure they’ll figure out I came here.”

“I saw your Mom yesterday,” I said. “She didn’t act like herself. Does that have anything to do with what has you so upset?”

He looked away for a long moment as if he was trying to decide if saying the awful thing out loud would make it more real. I knew that feeling well.

“My Dad came in the house when he brought me back today. I thought Mom would be at work, but she wasn’t. She was sitting in the livingroom. The place was a mess Hope. My mom wasn’t sick, she had been drinking, and this wasn’t the first time.”

Warren looked at me. I guess he was waiting for my reaction. “I’m so sorry Warren.” It was all I could think of to say.

“Dad was so mean to her Hope, and not just today. Dad has always been mean to her. Do you want to know what he said?”

I nodded. I needed to hear it all. I needed to know what had happened to hurt my friend so badly.

“He told her that she wasn’t capable of taking care of me, because she couldn’t even take care of herself. Mom didn’t say a word. She just looked at me. She had tears running down her cheeks, but I don’t think she knew it. She didn’t even know she was crying.”

“That’s terrible Warren. Did your Dad leave? Is your Mom at home by herself?”

“I don’t know..Dad told me to pack my stuff. He said he was taking me back to live with him. I told him I was not leaving my Mom and I was not leaving Murdo, then I ran out of the house and came here. I meant what I said. I’m not going with him, even if it means I never see my baby sister again.”

The phone rang and I could hear Pearl in the other room talking to the caller. Warren and I both heard her say, “Why yes, I think he is here. Would you like me to put him on?” Soon, she came into the kitchen.

“Warren honey, that was your Mom, she wants you to come home. Your Dad wants to say goodbye to you.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” I asked. “I can at least walk you part way.”

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Connie’s Story

Listen to your Angel

“Connie Angel, I need your help. I don’t understand why some people act the way they do. When I walked Warren home, his Dad was outside talking to Warren’s Grandpa. His Grandma must have been inside with Mrs. Martin. Mr. Martin’s new wife and new baby were sitting in the car waiting. Warren hadn’t told me they were there. I didn’t think it was my place to stay. I mean, what could I do?”

You have helped your friend more than you know Hope. You two have been good for each other. Remember how sickly Warren was when he first moved here? He seems to have outgrown his asthma. He’s even been able to play basketball, and I understand from what you have said, he’s pretty good too. Does he plan to play in high school?

“I guess so. That is if he gets to stay in Murdo. He’ll really be upset if all the kids find out his Mom is drinking a lot. He’ll be embarrassed too.”

That’s where you can help him Hope. Maybe things will calm down and Warren won’t have to leave. Whatever happens, you and Warren need to remember you can’t control what the other kids know or do. It doesn’t matter anyway. You can’t influence the decisions his parents have to make either, but you can help Warren. He can get through whatever happens. You should know that better than anyone.

 “But Connie Angel, If I can’t change anything for him, how can I help him?”

You can start by telling him he has an Angel watching over him too. You can tell him to listen to all that is good inside himself before he says or does anything he might regret.

“Does everyone have an Angel like I have you?”

Yes Hope.. everyone has an Angel.  A voice they can seek and listen to and trust. You are learning to listen for the right answers. 

I know this is a lot for you to understand, but I’m hoping you will grasp the meaning. You cannot depend on others to do what is right. You always have the choice. Do you listen to your Angel’s voice, which you could think of as your higher voice, or do you follow other people who might lead you astray?

“I think I understand, but I have a question. Will Warren have to start with a doll like I did? I don’t think he will go for that. I’m only kidding Connie Angel, but you already know that don’t you?”

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Well.. has someone had enough for one day?  Let me give you something else to ponder.

School begins in a couple of weeks. I know you want to start high school with Warren, but if that doesn’t happen, you will have to accept the way things are. You both need to lighten up and enjoy this time in your life. Refuse to carry the weight of the grownup’ s problems on your young shoulders…And Hope.. You both need more friends. 

“I know. I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Oh no, I just saw something.”

“Pearl..come here Pearl..there you are. You didn’t eat your food today and you’ve been acting funny. Look what I just spotted on the floor by your bed? A Bing wrapper. Wait here, I’ll go get you some ice chips.”

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Fun memories of High School in the late 60’s. On PE days we wore short skirts and knee highs so we wouldn’t have to bring extra socks or deal with pantyhose. Did you have an autograph dog that all your friends signed? Me neither..

We were glad to see El Paso in our rear view mirror, but it wasn’t long before looking out the window of the motor home was once again a pleasure. We drove 382 miles Saturday before we stopped for the night, which turned out to be a little disconcerting at first.

We decided to drive further than our planned destination and as we continued to drive, we had to keep rethinking where we should find a park to spend the night. We have a Good Sam’s GPS attached to the dash that has proven to be invaluable. It’s the one we left charging at home last year. The GPS not only gives us directions including which lane to be in, it tells us where all the restaurants, gas stations, rest areas, RV parks and other points of interests are.

About 4-ish, I plugged in the name of a town up ahead and only one RV park came up, so we headed that way. When we exited highway 10, we saw beautiful hill country, but no signs of life, like houses or cars. The GPS voice said to go 5 miles down the road, then turn left onto a private road. We followed her directions, but still the only living things we saw were deer, some sheep, and a scary looking coyote.

I didn’t ask Kip what he was thinking, but I was worried. What if it was a dead-end? What if it turned out to be a big ruse and we would be met by dangerous robbers? Later Kip told me the only thing he was thinking about was the sun was setting and he wasn’t going to drive back out of there until morning no matter what. He was already concerned about hitting a deer.

As we topped a hill, we saw a sign that said, “Watch out for children.” What would kids be doing way out there with sheep, deer and coyotes we wondered? The GPS lady kept talking, and we kept driving.

Finally… we got there. It looked like a great place in a beautiful hill country setting. We could see 2 RV’s set up in a rather secluded spot. Then we saw a nice house and a store. Kip parked and walked over to the store. When he came back out, I could see he had paperwork in his hand which is always my sign that we got a spot.

The whole purpose of the park is to provide a place for people who are going to tour the nearby Sonora Cavern or hike the trails and see the wildlife. They have a deer feeding area, but there’s no hunting. The deer are as tame as a deer can be. They also have peacocks and pheasant roaming around. It is a working sheep ranch as well. They sell homemade fudge and souvenirs in the store that’s also home to a mounted moose head, several deer, and other animal heads that I didn’t look at closely. 

 

Cyndie is not too happy about Kip petting Big White

We befriended a Great Pyrenees with size 12 feet, and met the two other couples in RV’s who also got there by chance, not on purpose. The place wasn’t crowded on Sunday night, but they said they had been full Friday and Saturday. Our only regret was we didn’t feel we could spare the 2 hours it would take to tour the Sonora Caverns. It will be on our list of places to come back to.

Ann Margaret with her boyfriend Elvis (peacocks) 

Goodbye Sonora Caverns. You get a 4.5. I got to see deer, but I had to stay on my leash.

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