Month: March 2021

Murdo Girl…Catching up

Mary Francis McNinch

I got behind…

WEDNESDAY

This is Yram Sicnarf, roving reporter. I just completed my third day on the road with MG and Kip and a good time is being had by all.

First on the agenda was an aerobics class with MG and Molly. I did such a great job of stretching, twisting, and balancing, that within seconds people were looking at me with so much admiration that I felt really… humbled. I gradually moved to the head of the class, so others could follow my moves.

And then about ten minutes into it, I became winded while trying to master some tricky dance steps. How was I to know I was in fact facing a real “move it or lose it” challenge. I was close to falling out when MG came and led me off the floor.

I was brought back to my normal energetic self by a great lunch at  a fun place called, Pops. We all had chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes with lots of gravy, green beans and toast.

I (Yram) took the picture. From left, Cary, Kip, MG, and Molly

After lunch, we went to see the big tree. It is the biggest, gnarliest, tree I have ever seen and its over 1000 years old.

MG made dinner. Oh well, I’m sure we’ll have another chance to eat tomorrow.

THURSDAY

Your roving reporter forgot to tell you about happy hour. Every afternoon around 4:00, a group or RVers circle up their chairs in a free spot and enjoy their refreshments. The men have their own circle and a few feet away, the women have theirs. I have met some really cool people and do they ever have the fun stories to tell.

This morning Molly took a friend of hers and me to a ladies house to shop for unique tops and shirts. I bought two. I’ll probably give one to MG because she begged off. She said she was getting weary of being joined at the hip with me. She needs to chill a little.

Today, we all went for another fun lunch. This time we went to Moondogs. We got to watch boats with bags of fresh oysters float by and dock while the bags of oysters were loaded onto refrigerated trucks.

Lilie Dale got to come. You can see her under the table in the second picture.

We went to Rockport Beach and watched all sorts of kids swimming and having fun. I think it’s sort of a prelude to spring break.

Tonight, after happy hour, Molly and Cary made a luscious dinner. We had grilled pork chops, baked potatoes, asparagus, rolls and turtle pie. I was so full, I waddled back to our place by myself. I sure hope MG helps Molly clean up. That’s the least she could do.

Tomorrow…we’re going to a beach party…after we go out for a fun breakfast.

Murdo Girl…Y has arrived

Mary Francis McNinch

We made it! Golly gee traveling is exhausting. I was hoping we could have some time to chill once we arrived on the scene, but that wasn’t in the cards for Yram, your roving reporter. I will have to admit the view coming in was pretty impressive.

When we pulled into tje Lagoon RV Park and Resort, I could tell right away that I was going to enjoy my working vacation. Cary and Molly were delighted to meet me. They walked with MG, Kip, Lilie and Pattie to a beautiful dog park nearby where the dogs could run loose. The park surrounding the huge dog park had all sorts of walking and bicycling paths and two little lakes. At least that’s what I was told. I didn’t go. I hadn’t seen my soap operas for three days and my little tootsies were tired from being squeezed into my fave but too small boots.

I woke up from my nap in time to join everyone at Molly and Cary’s RV for a yummy dinner. I was relieved to know Molly is a great cook. MG? Not so much.

Tomorrow (now today) I’m going with Molly and MG to an aerobics class. I didn’t bring any athletic type clothes, but MG said I could borrow some of hers. They’ll probably hang on me.

Too bad I left my aerobics outfit at home…who knew?

After a robust workout, we’re going to Goose Island State Park and see the whooping cranes…pics to follow. After that outing, they have insisted on taking me to what I’m sure will be a fun lunch at some hot spot.

Wyram scares me

Murdo Girl…Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

Mary Francis McNinch

This is Yram Sicnarf, roving crack-up reporter. It’s way too early in the morning for this riveting writer to be roving. MG and Mr MG kept me going all day, yesterday, which was the first day of our odyssey to this place called, Rock Fort.

They woke me from a sound sleep to help them with ALL the things they have to do before they travel the highways and byways. Mr MG kept asking, “What is an Yram and why hasn’t she been cancelled?” He was only upset because there are things I can’t do on account of my nails. Not that I have nice nails, because I do not, but since the beginning of time, women have gotten out of distasteful tasks by insisting they might break a nail.

Following Mr MG to fuel up before we hook up the Jeep. We’re all riding in the coach…Yay

Good sport that I am, I ignored several of Mr MG’s innuendos. I even stopped short of complaining when he limited my closet space in the RV coach.

After a long day of travel that was only made bearable by stops at Dairy Queen and Walmart, the RV coach pulled into the Schulenburg RV Park.

Shortly after we got all set up, I was resting when I heard MG scream that we had a leak. Water was pouring from the pipe under the sink. We were filling up faster than the Titanic. I was riveted as I watched MG and Kip spring into action. Turns out when Kip changed out the water filter, he didn’t get it tight enough. It took about ten towels to get it all soaked up.

It was my suggestion that they start a shoulda, coulda, woulda, list. I got so sick of hearing them say they should have done this or we should have done that. Like the one-time Coach Riley with the Lakers used to say, “If we coulda and we shoulda then we woulda.”

Well, We are now embarking on day two of our trip. We should arrive in Rock Fort early this afternoon.

This is your roving reporter, Yram Sicnarf, signing off…

Murdo Girl…All for the love of a Bing

Mary Francis McNinch

I love to travel in the RV and as a matter of fact, Monday morning, Kip and I are headed to Rockport, TX. We are meeting our friends, Molly and Cary, who are wintering there. I’ve never been to Rockport but I hear it’s really nice. I can’t wait.

It’s supposed to be in the 70’s

Sorry for the interruption, but there’s someone knocking at the door.

“Hello, I don’t believe I know you. Are you here to sell me something? I really don’t have the time. I’m writing a story right at the moment. Now, will you excuse me, Miss…Miss whoever you are.

Sicnarf,..Yram Sicnarf …I’m a crack-up reporter, I mean a roving reporter from Fun Barrel. (I changed the name. I got tired of saying our motto is we shoot straight.) I’ve been given an assignment to travel with you to Rock Fort. I’m supposed to document the WHOLE trip. I hope you hang out at the beach a lot.

Well, my name is MG and I don’t recall agreeing to take a roving reporter on our trip. Can I see your credentials?

Yram: My what?

MG: Your credentials…your papers

Yram: Why? I don’t have a single restraining order in Fun Barrel. I do have a few papers from Murdo. The Newspaper I work for said I shouldn’t show my face around the Murdoites for a while. I can’t go to the Black Hills, either. The editor said you owe her one. That’s how I got the roving reporter gig. She said it’s probably better if I stay on the move.

MG: Oh…right. Come on in Yram. Can I get you something? A sweet tea? A peanut butter sandwich? Different hair? Where are you going?

Yram: I need to bring my things into your house. Wow! This place is tiny! You must have to go outside to change your mind.

Yram hauls in three rather large suitcases.

Yram: I sure hope I didn’t forget anything. Once I went off to Murdo and forgot my Bing candy bars. I couldn’t go into any of the stores because of all the restraining orders. Say! would you like a Bing? I have a whole suitcase full. I didn’t know if Rock Fort would have any.

Yram and MG spent the evening in the cottage drinking tea and eating Bings. They discovered they had a lot in common. They both ate all of the chocolate with crushed peanuts that surrounded the cherry mash inside the Bing before they ate the rich cherry mash. They had both gotten sucked in by the “Balance of Nature” advertisements and are waiting for the benefits of having all of those fruits and vegetables surging through their blood.

MG: Did you get My Pillow, My Sheets, and My Towels?

Yram: Sure did? I love that guy, but he needs to get a My Shirt in a color besides blue.

MG: You know Yram, We could be sisters except I’m a queen and you’re not. You’re a commoner, Yram.

Yram: Yup…a commoner who is going to write about your every move, Queenie.

Tea with the Queenie

by Yram Sicnarf, commoner, and roving reporter

The queen has a cottage and a teeny weenie house.

Though I never saw him, she says she has a spouse

He’s driving us to Rock Fort in a royal coach

My behavior has to be way beyond reproach

Knock Knock…Who’s there? Oh…It’s Dairy Queen. I’ll have a Bing blizzard.

Another restraining order would really do me in

Could MG really be my long lost evil twin?

This Coach?

See Ya…You haven’t seen anything, yet.

Yram: Do you mind if I superficially record our conversations, MG? Speak into my watch.

Murdo Girl…A Monumental interview

Mary Francis McNinch

Hi! This is Yram Sicnarf. I’m filling in for Murdo Girl for a few days. She’s resting. You probably don’t realize this, but I’m quite a bit younger than MG. I reside in Texas near Gun Barrel City, where our motto is, “We Shoot Straight.” I’m a traveling crack-up reporter.

I just got to Rapid City. I’m going to the Crazy Horse Monument this morning. I snagged an interview with Crazy Horse, himself. This interview was hard to get, but it will put another feather in my cap, and an arrow in my quill.

The Crazy Horse Monument is far away from Murdo where I have several restraining orders against me, so how much trouble can I get into, right? Can you see Crazy Horse putting a restraining order on me? I don’t even like to ride horses.

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We are back at the Crazy Horse Monument where Yram Sicnarf will soon be interviewing Crazy Horse. You know how when the politicians speak, they always have a bunch of people standing behind them? It makes for a good camera shot, so Sherri and Kodak are going to shoot and record the whole thing.

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Yram: Good morning all! We are waiting for Crazy Horse to arrive. He is a busy man you know and he travels everywhere on his crazy horse. Oh there he is! I’ll try to get his attention. “YEOEOEOEOEYO!!” I think he heard me.

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Yram: Hello Mr. Crazy Horse…Pleased to make your acquaintance. I have read your dossier, so I know everything there is to know about you. Are you new in town?

Crazy Horse: I’ve been through here a couple of times many winters ago. I remember it was cold.

Yram: It says here you are a leader. That’s pretty vague. In what kind of work are you a leader?

Crazy Horse: Well, I’m retired now, but I used to put colorful paint all over my face, then go and scare the Calvary. It was fun, but it didn’t pay much.

Yram:  If you’re retired, why haven’t you completed your statue…arthritis?

Crazy Horse: Something like that. What is there to do around here?

Yram: Well Mr. Crazy Horse. Do you mind if I call you Crazy? Have you been to Custer State Park?

Crazy Horse: You’re joking, right?

Yram: Not a park person?

Crazy Horse: A very great vision is needed, and the man who has it must follow it as the eagle seeks the deepest blue of the sky.

Yram: Just the other day, I was talking to my girlfriend and I said that same thing. I can really relate. Where are you going from here?

Crazy Horse: I’m going to Murdo. Have you ever been there?

Yram: Yes…but not within 300 yards. They don’t want me close to the football games.

Crazy Horse: I can relate.

Yram: So would you mind having your picture taken with me Mr. Horse?

Crazy Horse: That’s my horse’s name. You can call me Crazy. I don’t like having my picture taken.

I thought that was one of my better interviews, and being the tenacious crack up reporter I am, I managed to get that picture.

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So the sun sets on another western South Dakota day. I wonder what foolhardy thing tomorrow will bring? How about Mt. Rushmore? That would keep her busy for a while. 

Mr. President Washington, is it true you have wooden teeth? Are they hard to floss?

Murdo Girl…The tail is always at the end

Mary Francis McNinch

A whimsical day to think and play

I walked along a bubbling brook. The warm sun felt so nice.

I sat upon a nearby rock. The water felt like ice.

I took my shoes and socks off and stuck my toes in the cold stream.

“You’ll catch your death.” I heard someone say. Not sounding one bit mean.

I felt the slippery slimy moss and knew better than to stand,

Until I found a muddy hole where I could jump and safely land.

I saw a fish swim by. He knew I meant no harm.

I had no fishing pole or pail of minnows on my arm.

Soon the sun was setting and I knew that I must leave.

We can never know if we’ll be back, but this I must believe.

I can go anywhere I want to, but I can’t go everywhere.

I can do what you can do. Not as good, but I don’t care.

I can sing and dance and juggle balls… all at the same time.

If you try to say I can’t, you’re still a friend of mine.

I can tell stories that aren’t funny and train a dog to sit.

If you can’t keep up with all I do it’s not okay to quit.

I can make hiccups go away by drinking water upside down,

I’ve shown others how to do it and only two of them have drowned.

I can make an eggless, milkless , butterless, cake. My mother taught me how.

I think she learned to make it when they had to sell their cow.

They ate the eggs for breakfast and the butter wouldn’t churn.

Someone hid the sugar so there’d be something left to burn.

Now here’s a piece of wisdom that I’ll only say one time.

As life goes on, sometimes you’ll run into a hill to climb.

If there’s a hill to climb, don’t wait for it to shrink.

Hills don’t get smaller no matter what you think…

(You have to climb it! Don’t wait! Get started!)

 

Murdo Girl…Can I go now?

Mary Francis McNinch

Today I saw the doctor. The one who checks my eyes.

He told me I can’t see, which came as no surprise.

So where are ya’all from? I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here.

I have the beginnings, of what is called glaucoma

I’ve learned its not a good thing, if it ends in “oma.”

He also thought he’d mention that my cataracts are growing

“Are you finished, yet?” I asked. “I really must be going.”

This must be MG’s book. It’s in LARGE print

I got into my car with a prescription for eyeglasses.

I thought I should drive slowly, though everybody passes.

By the time I got back home, I had a real meltdown.

I couldn’t help but think, that my eyes had let me down.

Sometimes you do things that you know you might regret.

I don’t think I’ll make that dentist appointment, yet.

Does eating candy with the wrapper on keep you from getting cavities?