It’s Saturday and there’s definitely something strange going on. Pearl has noticed Essie has been hanging around more than usual, and she’s determined to get to the bottom of it.

Pearl knocks on the door of the cat room. She knows Essie is in there and has been for the last couple of hours.

“Who’s there?” Ellie asks.

“It’s Pearl… I think the more appropriate thing to say since this is my home and not yours is, “Please come in. Now, please open the door.”

“Okay,…Jeez, Pearl, can’t a person and a dog have a little privacy?”

“Of course, but I need to know what your motives are.”

“My what?”

“Your motives… I can’t help but notice you have been over here a lot more lately. Every time I look around, I see you. I doubt Pearl the dog’s bathroom habits have changed that much so clue me in please.”

“I’m grounded and this is the only place Mom will let me go besides home. The only reason I can come here is because of my job.”

“Your grounded again? Good Grief, child…You don’t seem to be able to stay on the right side of the law. What did you do this time?”

“I think it’s Mom’s fault. She should’ve told me no when I asked her if I could ride my brother’s bike to Harold the Barber’s to get a haircut. My brother really likes that bike.”

“Anyway, I was preoccupied  by something on the way home and I wrecked his bike. It only scraped it up a little, and you can’t even see any damage on one whole side. The chain came off, but that’s an easy fix. The handle bars are kinda loose, but I like them that way. You can adjust them easier and make sharper turns.”

“So, you got grounded for making a pile of  metal and rubber out of your brother’s fancy bike?”

“Well, not exactly. When Mom got home, I was crying and I couldn’t stop.  I felt so bad, I even had those hiccups you get when you cry hard for a long time. Mom told me twice to stop crying and I really tried, but I was what you call, devastated. Mom got really nice and sat down beside me. She said she would have a talk with my brother and he probably wouldn’t be that mad, so I could quit crying over it now.”

“I must be missing something, here. It sounds like you were going to skate on this one.” Pearl really looked puzzled, and if it’s one thing Pearl really hates, it’s when she doesn’t have the whole story.

“I told Mom I wasn’t crying because I wrecked the bike, I was crying because I hate my haircut. Harold has a new guy working there part-time and just look what he did to me. I yelled at him too. I said, “It’s okay for me to have a little hair, buster!”

Well, Pearl told me I can’t stay in the cat room until my hair grows out, so we went to her apartment above the store. She said I needed a few lessons on how to leave well enough alone. I think that means, if things are going your way, keep your mouth shut. I’m staying over at Pearl and Grace’s as much as I can. At least til my brother cools down some. Pearl said I could keep coming over here, but she’s not going to pay me for hiding-out time.

We’re going to have another 4th of July parade this year. Mark has a horse named Prince, and I have a Shetland pony named Governor or Guv for short. I was so excited the day Dad and Swede drove up with a pony for me in the back of the truck. I love that horse even though he can be really stubborn. He also hates men.
His name is Governor Archie Francis. Archie Gubrud is the Governor of South Dakota.
The parade is really fun. We hook Prince up to a red wagon with a chair in it. I wear my red gown and a crown made out of tin foil and ride in the chair. We decorate Guv because he does NOT like to pull a wagon. All of the other kids dress up in red, white, and blue, then we March up and down all of the streets south of 16. People seem to like it. They would probably like it better if we had candy to throw to them, but we can’t afford it.
I remember a little about the parade Murdo had when we celebrated the bicentennial. I was only 4 1/2 in June of 1956 and I remember that Kitty Reynolds made me an old fashioned dress and bonnet. Billy was almost 13. He said that Francis Plumbing & Heating had a float with an outhouse on it. One of the workers was looking through a hole in the back of it and the sign said, “We stand behind all of our work.” I wish I could remember that, it must have been so much fun.

One day my cousin Valerie and I decided to play Rawhide. Valerie rode Mark’s horse Prince and I rode Guv out to Aske’s ranch where they have a bunch of milk cows. We were having so much fun herding, that we decided to spend the night. I volunteered to ride back to town and get some supplies like food and matches. I already had the saddle off Governor because he was pretty hot, so I rode bareback. The ride was a lot farther than I thought it was going to be. I really didn’t feel like riding all of the way back, so I went to my cousin Mark’s to play. It didn’t seem like such a big deal until I saw Aunt Ella, (Valerie’s Mom), drive up in her pink car. She was looking for Valerie and when I told her that she was at Aske’s ranch, she said to get in the car. Well, I must have forgotten that Valerie had both saddles, so she just couldn’t have hopped on Prince and ridden back. It would have been hard to find my saddle if she’d left it there.

Brave little Valerie
We found out that people don’t really like you to herd their milk cows around, so we’re not going to do that again anyway.

Not so brave little MG
I wrote this letter to my parents. I had to sell Governor several years after this photo was taken. I eventually got too big for him. The other girl in the picture is Betty Reiners. Her parents had a restaurant where the Buffalo Bar is now. I think it was called Don’s Diner.
Thank you lady, for letting me write about my horse. It got my mind off my dangerously mean brother.

Well, I decided I would try out Pearl’s gossip lesson and go back to Mrs. Stones’ house and get some dirt on her. I sure hoped Pearl was right because I sure did not want to pull more weeds.

There was one thing Pearl’s plan didn’t account for.

******************

“Hi, Mrs. Stone…I came back to pull those weeds in your garden; the few little ones that I missed yesterday.

“Well just don’t stand there, Ellie, come in. I don’t have much time to direct you. My bridge club will be here in just a few minutes. Get one of those paper bags in the pantry and fill it with the weeds you pull. Now get to it Ellie. Why are you just standing there with that dumb look on your face?”

I told Harold the barber to cut my hair short, and he did.

That’s the mean thing, I thought. The bridge club coming over could be a hot potato, but I decided to move forward with Pearl’s plan.

“Are the bridge club ladies the ones that don’t like you very much?”

“What on earth are you talking about, “Ellie? Who told you that?”

“Um..I think we both know who spreads gossip around this town.”

My mom played bridge

Mrs. Stone had a horrified look on her face just like Pearl the human said she would, but she didn’t tell me I didn’t have to pull the weeds, and I really didn’t think she would offer to pull them herself with all those women here. I was going to have to wing it!

The ladies started arriving then so I waited. Mrs. Stone saw me standing there and told me to go do what I came to do.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll go pull those weeds, so you won’t make poor Mr. Stone go out there and pull them. Do you have some cold lemonade so I can go out and sit on your bench and drink it? Those cookies sure look good, too.”

“You are one strange child, Ellie.”

Then a bridge lady spoke up. “Well, Helen Stone, did you get involved in the Methodist Church fundraiser? I heard most of the kids were on the lazy side. They had to be prodded to do anything. It was so good of you to give this girl a chance to do it right. Young lady, you need a few lessons in etiquette. You do not ask for refreshments and you definitely do not take a refreshment break before you have even started your work.”

She’s mean too, I thought. Pearl didn’t account for two ladies being mean to me.

“Mrs. Martin,” I said. “I heard your husband is henpecked.”

It worked again! Mrs. Martin looked horrified; just like Pearl said. All of a sudden, Mrs. Stone took me by the ear and marched me to the door. “You may leave now,” she said. “I would rather pull the weeds myself than deal with the likes of you, young lady.”

I couldn’t wait to tell Pearl the human all about my experience with her gossip lesson. I decided to walk Pearl the dog a little later.

I like now, now is good!

“Hi Pearl, I came right over here to tell you what happened with Mrs. Stone. I said exactly what you told me to say and guess what? I didn’t have to pull one weed. Mrs. Stone said she would do it. There is one thing though…She didn’t offer me a cold glass of lemonade and a cookie.”

I like cookies

“I knew it,” Pearl said. (I’ve never seen Pearl so excited.)

“I’ll have to think up some more life lessons to teach you, Essie. Living in this world takes know how and if it’s one thing old Pearl has, it’s know how!”

“Do you know anything about etiquette Pearl? One of the bridge club ladies who was at Mrs. Stones’ house said I could use a few lessons on etiquette.”

“Boy, Pearl the dog, Pearl the human sure was puffing away on that air cigarette when we left. She just doesn’t seem herself. Where should we go on our walk? How about Mrs. Stones’ house to see if anybody pulled those weeds.’

Okay Ellie, but it’s getting pretty dark. Do you think she’ll give us a cookie?

Rerun part 1

This is Ellie/Essie…

If I swore, I’d say every curse word I know right now. If I threw fits, I would lay down on the floor and kick and scream. I don’t know how that woman could be so mean.

The old Methodist Church in Murdo, South Dakota. The parsonage is next to it.

You see the Methodist Church had a fundraiser. All of us kids had to work for someone who paid us by the hour. We had to work for eight hours and all the money goes to the youth program. I got hired by mean Mrs. Stone. She made me do things a two hundred pound man could barely do.

I was too fast at my work. That’s what it was. I washed all of her dirty windows inside and out. I pulled the weeds in her garden and worst of all, I had to clean out her refrigerator. Now I’ve got to go take Pearl the dog for a walk if my poor little wobbly stick legs will let me.

*****************

“Hi Pearl, I came to take Pearl the dog for a walk.”

Can we go see my frog friend?

“Well ,Essie…you look like you could go bear hunting with a stick. What or who has gotten you so worked up?”

“Working for Mrs. Stone has me all worked up. She never let me rest once except for the fifteen minutes it took me to choke down a minced ham sandwich. When I took the last bite, she smacked her hands and said, up, up, up…time to get back to work! Then she got really mean.”

“Tell me, Essie. I just love to hear gossip. When I had my beauty shop, I’d have a woman on each side of me shooting gossip into my ears. Oh how I miss that. I don’t get to talk to many people now except Grace and she tells me everything twice and comes up way short on the details. Gossiping is an art you know. One of these days I’ll teach you how to get people to spill everything they know, or think they know, and you won’t have to give up a thing. Now, what was the really mean thing she did?”

“When I got ready to leave, Mrs. Stone said I might have to come over again tomorrow. I said to her… no way, Mrs. Stone, that’s not how it works. Then she said she was going to have to deduct an hour’s pay on her check to the church. When I asked her why, she said it was because I didn’t get all the weeds out of her garden, and Mr. Stone would be upset because he would have to do it. It’s not fair Pearl,”

“You have got to get some dirt on that woman, Essie, that’s all there is to it. Now go take Pearl the dog for a walk. When you get back, I’ll give you a couple of quick lessons.”

Pearl’s Gossip Lesson

Listen closely, Essie, and you will have that mean Mrs. Stone right where you want her. If she has told you something secretive about herself, she won’t cross you ever again. It will be worth it for you to go over there tomorrow. When she says something mean to you, and she will, you say this:

“I sure don’t see why several of the ladies in town aren’t partial to you Mrs. Stone. I think you’re real nice.” Then smile your sweetest smile, just don’t laugh when you see the look on her face.

“Then what do I do, Pearl?”

You say, “Now, show me those weeds in your garden that I missed. I’ve heard from reliable sources that several of your friends think Mr. Stone is henpecked and I wouldn’t want to add fuel to the fire… if you know what I mean.”

“See Essie… it’s nothing you can’t do. You’ll be a natural.”

“Then what do I say Pearl?” I was really starting to get into this gossip lesson.

“Nothing. You won’t have to. She will be so upset she’ll spill the beans on every gossip friend she has. She’ll say things like, I bet I know who said that! It was Ethel, well let me tell you a thing or two about Ethel..bla,bla,bla,bla. Then you have to close the secret transaction.”

“What’s a secret transaction, Pearl?”

You say, “Well, I guess I should get started on those weeds now so poor Mr. Jones doesn’t have to do it. It’s not in my nature to cheat the church either.”

“Do you mean I’m still going to have to pull the weeds, Pearl?

“Not a chance. Mrs. Jones will probably say something like this. Oh no, dear. You sit right here and I will get you a nice cold glass of lemonade and one of the cookies I baked for Mr. Jones. You must call us Charles and Cecilia…I’ll pull the weeds.

One more thing, Essie. When she tries to get out of you who told you all that gossip, you say…I think we both know who told me those terrible things that you told them. It’s just awful how people spread gossip they hear on the grapevine.

” I can’t wait for you to tell me how it goes tomorrow, Essie. Wasn’t that a great lesson? I should have been a mother. I believe my mothering instincts have gone to waste all these years.

The Beauty Shop is a great place to hear good gossip

Murdo Girl is up early. Actually, she hardly got any sleep. Counting sheep didn’t help because she kept seeing those mangy big horn sheep that live in the Real Bad Lands. That wasn’t very sleep inducing.

The gang had only been there one night and they were all getting bored. A bored MG was one thing, but a bored gang was yet another. They couldn’t go on the twenty-four scenic drives because the Cowboy was the only one with transportation. They’d been to all the scenic overlooks they could walk to, and the hiking trails were out of the question. MG was beginning to feel a sense of forbording. That’s the feeling you get right before boredom sets in. It’s different than foreboding Then there’s the afterbording. After, afterbording… boredom is pretty much irreversible. MG’s right eye began to twitch.

Uh, Oh…here comes the biggest complainer of all.

MG: What’s up Queen E.? You’re kind of overdressed, but nice camo.

Queen E: Did you know that the temperature in the Real Bad Lands ranges from 116 to minus 40? I like to dress in layers. That way I can remove an item of clothing as the weather warms up.

Hedda and Hopper (overhearing the Queen): Did you say you take off an item of clothing every time it gets a few degrees warmer? What do you call that game? It sounds like fun. Do you play with chips? Do you have to put your clothes back on if it starts getting colder or can we bring a hot toddy.

Here comes the next biggest complainer, the town crier.

MG: Hi TC…what are you boo hooing about this time?

TC: (sniff) Some starving and vicious wild animal stole my brand new cheese head. I think it was a wolf or a puma. It might have been a panther or a coyote. I put it in a safe place too. It was on my head.

PG: (aka, Sherri the drawer). Oh, quiet down TC. I saw a prairie dog run off with it.

Why do you squeeze Squeeze’s head so hard, TC? It might be like a pimple and burst.

Squeeze: It already did twice, but it grew back. Are you stuck on those rocks, PG or are you floating around in the sky?

Lav: Sorry I’m late…jet lag from my trip to Europe! I overslept. I had this terrible nightmare that I was in this horrible place with snakes and groundhogs and a gang of something. It was so terrible and I…(as she looks around and sees everybody staring at her)…What?

MG: Yes, we know you went to Europe, Lav. Now, I have something to tell all of you…what KK?

KK: I want to change my name MG. I’ve outgrown Kodak Kadoka. I’m not in amateur town anymore, if you catch my meaning.

MG: No KK. I don’t know what you mean. You don’t outgrow your name…do you?

KK: Sure you do MG; especially if it’s a name like Kodak Kadoka. Look at Cassius Clay…he was a CC before he became Muhammad Ali.

MG: Okay blank, blank…what is your new name?

Surissuse: Surissuse It’s short for sunrise, sunset. I have a new look too. I’m going to float like a butterfly.

MG: Oh, no…just what I need. Here comes the snooty snouts.

AI: We don’t like our heads up here in the clouds. There’s a strange person up here just floating around…says her name is Surissuse.

Patticake: Cherry pie anyone? Today I made it shaped like a cake with cherries on top…clever huh?

The Dean’s 66 guys: Well guys it’s either her cake or fried rattlesnake…or baked prairie dog smothered in melted cheese head.

The Cowboy : Well, this is the last time I’ll take a transportationless, foodless, moneyless gang to the Real Bad Lands. They’re all a bunch of whiners.

The Phantom Wrangler: I hear ya Cowboy. This is the last time I’ll join a gang. I thought I was going to be in a real bad outlaw gang. I’d rather wear a white hat. If you’re looking for a phantom wrangler, I’ll be on the right side of the law from now on.

 

 Doc: Well, Matt, I think I’m on the right.

Matt: You’re on MY left Doc…he’s on MY right. Looks like he’s riding off.

Wait cute phantom! We’re floating as fast as we can.

When we were getting ready to leave on our last long RV trip, my cousin Valerie’s husband, Ken thought we should keep track of the top ten things people talked to us about while we were out walking the dogs. He said it didn’t necessarily have to be questions they asked about the dogs, or even walking. I guess he was just curious about what we motor home wanderers do while we’re all wandering around the campgrounds.

I told Valerie that Kip and I would keep track and I would let Ken know the top ten after we got back, and then they left on a long trip overseas so I waited. I know he thought we forgot, but we remembered.

Ken and Val in Europe. We have just as much fun, but they might have better food.

1. Do your dogs like to travel?

These people are the kind who feel they have to say something; especially if they’ve already made eye contact. We always say, “They love it!” Another possible answer might be: “We took them to the dealership and let them sleep on the RV couches for a couple of days before we decided what to buy.” Then I could tell them Kip tricked us all and replaced the couches with electric, remote control recliners. Have you ever seen a dog try to work a remote? It’s kind of sad.

2. Is the big dog the mother to the two little dogs?

Remarkably, this questions is often asked by adults. We have a golden retriever and two little cocker spaniels. Cyndie is about five years younger than the cockers.

3. An office manager asked us this as we were checking in: So you have three dogs? Kip: Yes, but how did you know? Office manager: The big one is in the driver’s seat and the other two are in the passenger’s seat. We better hurry. It looks like they might take off.

4. This should have been number one: Ooooh, we have a retriever that looks just like yours. Can I pet her? I had to leave mine at home and I miss her so much! I would go back home right now if I could.

On this last trip we were pulled over on a scenic overlook way up high on the Blue Ridge Parkway when a car came flying in there, pulled up to where we were standing and came to a screeching halt. A lady was driving and her husband was in the passenger seat. The lady jumped out of the car and came running over to us. She knelt down beside Pattie and hugged her and petted her. It was a few minutes before she could talk because she was crying. She told us she had just lost her cocker spaniel, Muffin, and she had looked just like this one, (Patti). She had her for twelve years before she died. She talked a while longer before she told us seeing Pattie had made the whole trip she and her husband were on worth it. (I’m crying as I’m typing this. Dog lovers are a special kind of people.)

Cyndie Loves me….I like to travel can we go now?

You wouldn’t believe how many campers have dogs that look just like Cyndie, or Pattie, or Sammie. I don’t get why they don’t bring them along on the trip.

5. One morning a lady carrying a little bundle of something about as big as her hand, surprised our dogs when she came around the corner. Our dogs started doing their combo crying/barking thing. The lady very seriously said her dog wouldn’t try to hurt our dogs, she just wanted to play. I was embarrassed for our dogs. The woman sounded like she was really trying to convince us that her little teacup wouldn’t hurt our big baby dogs.

6. Can I pet your dog? Can I pet your dog? Mommy, can I pet the dog? What’s it’s name? Please can I stay here and pet this dog? Why can’t I have a dog, Mommy?

I don’t like our dumb old cat, Mommy. (We usually try to escape sometime in the middle of this discussion.)

7. A couple of people have asked, “On average, how many of those doggie poop bags do you go through a day, a week, or a month?”

8. This doesn’t happen while walking of course, but many of the friends and relatives we’re going to visit come close to insisting that we stay with them. I know they are trying to be good hosts and hostesses, but that is the beauty of traveling in a motor home. You get to go to your own home at night and operate the electric recliners for the dogs.

9. We try very hard to obey the rules of the RV Park. We usually try to be parked and set-up early enough to take the dogs for a walk before dark. One night we were late, and it was dark, and we were rushed. One of the dogs did her duty and we were trying to see where it was. A woman yelled out, “How are you going to clean up after your dog without a flashlight? You’re just going to leave that there aren’t you?”

There’s always that one out of a hundred that needs to get a life.

10. Most campers are relaxed and happy. Several have invited us to their picnics, and will let us know if they see something wrong. Kip has helped other campers make minor repairs, too.

I said minor repairs Motel 6

If I had a million dollars, I would still want to camp. I would just have a bigger motor home…one that’s big enough for three dogs, one cat, and two people to sit up off the floor.

 

 

 

 

I’m willing to admit it. All my ideas aren’t great. I have a lot of good, bad ideas. Was it worth exposing myself to sickness to make $382.00? Wait …before Heidi calls me wanting the remainder of her money, the $382.00 includes her $190.00, the $45.00 change we started with and Skyler’s $11.00 lemonade and tip money.

Remember these? I can’t believe Heidi was able to part with them. Pinching fat doesn’t sound like much fun..They didn’t sell. I have them if anyone is interested.

If I hadn’t felt so bad the last couple of days it would have been worth it just to get the junk out of the house to the garage and eventually it was donated or trashed rather than brought back inside. Kip and I have only lived in this house three years, so we didn’t have any big things to sell. I couldn’t believe Kip didn’t say anything when he brought his one pair of old shoes out and sat them next to the eighteen pairs of shoes I had out there to sell. (They don’t fit. They never did.)

Kip and I learned way back that it’s a waste of time to put an ad in the newspaper. If it says 8 -5 and you sell -out or fall -out at 3, you still have to stay until 5 because people will show up. If you don’t put and ad in, you just hide your stuff , take down your sign and quit! We knew we weren’t going to continue on Saturday no matter what, although several told us Saturday is a better day in Mabank.

Anyway, the day of the sale you put your sign out that says 8-5 whenever you’re ready to open up. The last sale we had, I told Kip we needed to go get some change. He said, “Well we better hurry because the sign says it starts at 8!” I told him nobody would know that until he put the sign out…get it?

Enough about my garage sale. Like Mom used to say, “Enough about me, how did you like my last movie?”

Kip is in his recliner watching football. He bought each of us a new recliner a few months ago. Apparently, he had to have the electric ones. You can move your feet up, your back down, support your head, and your lumbar. (I’m really thankful for the lumbar support. I’ve been asking for one.)

So he gets “our ” recliners all set up and realizes they won’t be up against a wall where there is a place to plug them in. He says he will run a cord under the floor…the concrete covered by wood floor, but in the “meantime” he will cover the cords with a rubber strip. Our floor is very dark wood, but he came home with a tan strip. I talked in a louder voice than normal and said, “You mean you couldn’t get a dark brown one for me and everyone else to trip over?!” He left and came back with a better color.

I don’t sit in mine that often because I’m up and down too much and it takes too long for the remote to get me up and down. As it is, one of us has to stay out of the chair anyway because if someone comes to the door, or calls on the phone, the one sitting in the chair with their feet, head, neck and lumbar propped up, can’t get all of that down to a “get-off-the-chair” position fast enough. Do I sound mad? We have the same thing in the motor home. They do, however, have an emergency button in case the electricity goes off and you’re stuck up in the chair. You have to turn the chair upside down to reach it.

I’ve started collecting hats. My friend, Janet, had a really cute idea. You decorate them with bling. Costume jewelry with sparkly stones look really cute pinned on them. You can’t see the choo choo train on my purple hat very well. I know I’m going to have a problem with this collection. I already forgot my rain hat at church this morning.

I’ll still be collecting crowns, too, but I don’t have very many now.

Jeez…do you think she’ll forget all about us? I thought she collected Beasterhops.

Thanks for letting me get a few things off my chest. I feel much better now. My life is pretty perfect… except some of my kids don’t call me enough.

This is about a garage sale Kip and I had in 2017. This is the last day of the FUMC garage sale…

The idea came to me one day that I might really make some hay, if I had a…garage sale.

Determined to rid my house of junk no matter how much money I’d sunk…into all that stuff…I’d have a garage sale.

We hauled things out from every place then staged it… to be in your face…at our garage sale.

Soon the people started to arrive and before you knew it there were four or five…at the amazing garage sale.

A woman with glaring, steely eyes came over to me… and to my surprise…pulled out a baggie with a quarter in it…at my garage sale.

I said, “The sticker says that costs a dollar and what you’ve got there is somewhat smaller.”

She said, “Who do you think you are? Some kinda Garage Sale Czar?”

She was mean…but I was meaner.

Kip took me aside and said, “I’ve had my fill, I’m taking this stuff over to Goodwill.”

I panicked.

I said, “We’re staying right here til this junk’s sold, I have my reputation to uphold…at the Goodwill Store.

After that we settled down some, then more people started to come.

The day got better and the quarters piled up. I thought, “You’re making hay now, buttercup…at this very lucrative garage sale.”

Something I have recently found, is the garage sale business goes up and down..like the stock market.

Well, all of a sudden the garage market fell and I still had lots of stuff to sell.

I no longer cared about making hay, I would have given that junk away to the very next person…if there had been one.

Kip said, “We’d better start cleaning junk off the floor. Do you want it where it was before…The garage sale?

“No!! I yelled, it can’t be over! I was supposed to be in real high clover after my…garage sale.

I never really did like that garage, but I sure didn’t think it would go and sabotage my… getting rid of junk, lucrative, up and down market, quarter fighting over…garage sale!

(But forget Goodwill. You get much better deals at garage sales.)

I think everyone who knows me would agree I have been pretty busy this past year. It seems I have a self-imposed deadline almost every day. Sometimes, I have two or three. For instance…tomorrow, I’m having a garage sale. Everyone said, “You’re crazy! Do you know how much work a garage sale is?”

I think I’ve figured out why people say they get so tired getting ready for their sale. It’s not hauling all the treasures out there that wear you out. It’s getting something all cleaned up and displayed and then saying…I think I want to keep that. I took some things back and forth all day long. I’m sure I’ll wake up in the night and decide I won’t be able to live without something that’s sitting out in the garage waiting to be sold.

Kip’s sister painted this abstract cow at least forty years ago. We have all had it hanging in our houses at least once. I couldn’t believe it when Nikki brought it over today. I thought it was long gone. I’ll make you a good deal!

Bringing things back inside isn’t going to work out well…because I have already spent the proceeds. Now I’m stressing that I was too quick to make that impulsive purchase. I must have sounded a little worried today because Heidi sent Nikki and the girls over to help us get ready. They did too!

Then Kip took us to Cochran’s for chicken tenders and to Dairy Queen for dessert. We had to beg Kip to get himself a hot fudge sundae. Nothing comforts me like chicken fingers and ice cream.

This is what I purchased with my garage sale wannabe proceeds. I was excited to find my Mickey Mouse hat while I was sorting through things. It’s one item I decided to keep.

Well, I have to do a few more things before I call it a night. We’re getting up early to put out the signs and move everything (that’s left) from the garage to the driveway.

If you live around here and come to the sale, be prepared to be pressured into buying something. We take monetary donations too. At least I didn’t have to pay for the permit. You get one free permit before you have to start paying. I got my free one in May, but I told the guy I didn’t have the sale because it was too hot. I told him I knew he knew I could be lying. He said I looked like an honest person. I told him I usually tell the truth. He told the lady if I was going to tell the truth about lying, I was probably telling the truth.

I know…I look really exhausted don’t I?

I saved money on the newspaper ad too. I forgot to put one in. Kip asked me what time the sale was supposed to start. I said eight o’clock. If you see me on the corner behind Brookshire’s waiving a garage sale sign and pointing down the street at my house, you will know why, okay? Tell your mom and them to come. My granddaughter, Skyler, is serving/selling lemonade.

 

I tell you what…the road trip gang made good time traveling from Wall Drug to the Badlands, but it seems they didn’t factor in the additional five miles they had to go down the road until they got to the Real Bad Lands. As it were, it was getting on towards twilight  by the time they got there. Have you ever been in the Real Bad Lands after dark?

“Who is this guy A I? He looks kind of crazy, and he’s riding a horse head.”

“Did someone make eye contact? Remember, you’re not supposed to make eye contact…Do you want to move?”

“I don’t know if I can. I’ve been sitting like this since yesterday.”

“Is that better girls?”

“Do they have food here?

“No, just stalactites and stalagmites.”

“We’re going to dig a cave and hit the snow early. Squeeze wants to go hunting in the morning.”

“I like cherry pie and dogs and signs. I’m wearing camo so you can’t see me. I’m trying to catch a dog.”

“We heard there’s a good Mexican restaurant at the top of these stairs.”

There’s a what doing what?

“Oh Yes!!! This is more like it. Hi Queen E. Remember me Lav? I’ve been in Europe. Where have you been?”

Well…I see Hedda and Hopper beat Eucy and Lethal to the Margaritas.

“You want all three of us to sleep in that tent?  HaHaHa…Yeah right. One T-rex and it would be all over for us.”

Oh yes, I’m quite comfy. See ya in the morning!! No snakes up here.

Hey!! Where’d the Cowboy go? Did he get kidnapped?

“HaHaHa…Let me think a minute…NO!”

“I don’t feel very good. It must have been that green cherry pie I had at the Wall Drug. We need to find a place to bed down for the night, mysterious Wrangler’s horse. Do you have a name?” 

Be careful all those who made fun of my Halloween costume video. I wield a lot of power in the Real Bad Lands…It could be a looong night.