Well now that The Donald has officially accepted the nomination of the Republican party, and Hillary’s convention is next week, it will soon be time for Barney and Murdo Girl to quit loafing around and get Murdo, the center of it all, fired up again. We can probably have a convention in The Harold Thune Auditorium now that all the alumni have cleared out. I don’t blame the Coach for putting plastic on his floor. Do you think that’s why it was hotter than fire in there? My hair looks dripping wet in every picture. With my most recent bad haircut, it didn’t look that good dry.

I had to go to the doctor a couple of days before I left for Murdo. It was just a regular check-up. I had gained a few elbeez since the last time. When I commented that I had gained weight only because I was going to a reunion, the good Doc said, “You look great and everyone you see will think so too!” Then as I was walking out, he said, “Of course, there’s always someone who looks better.” What is that supposed to mean? I will say most of the alumni I saw, were pretty well preserved.

For the Parade, Valerie was dressed like the Queen who’s 90, and I was supposed to look like an eight year old playing dress-up . I’m sure there was more than one eight year old that looked better than I did.

Kip thinks it’s kind of weird that I’ve been wearing my red gown and tinfoil crown every day. I don’t see why he should care as long as I continue to do all my chores. Well, not all of them I guess. Part of the reason I still wear the gown is because I haven’t done the laundry in three weeks. When I wear the dress, I have to wear the crown or people will look at me funny.

Yesterday,  I hung around the Monitor until it got too hot. The Monitor is our local newspaper. (I don’t have a “Newspaper Liaison” here  like Teresa in Murdo.) I believe in being proactive when I need to get noticed for publicity. You know, for my campaign. They finally snapped a couple of pictures. The picture was okay. It was even on the front page, but the caption said, “Aging queen posing as an 8 yr. old. Approach with caution.” It’s not true what they say. There is such a thing as bad publicity.

“Hey Queenie! What would you say to your older selfie?”

I came home and Kip had started the wash. He is doing great after some serious back surgery. It was hard work nursing him back to health. When I left him to go to Murdo, I had to remember to call every day. Our friends, Pat and Jerry who drove him places and did other things, said he was great and never complained. Our kids always behaved better for someone else too.

Unfortunately, I just found out from Lav that Texas is not one of the states we filed in so campaigning here will do me no good. I’m going to ask Kip if we can take the RV to Murdo for the convention. “Aggressive Informant, have you found out anything more about that low flying plane?”

I don’t think she heard me. Poor thing, she tries so hard. I hate to tell her, but that plane isn’t flying. I like the new hat though. It completely changes her look. My Photographic Drawer does good work.

Teresa, Coyote Liaison, and Sherri, Photographic drawer

I have to remember to ask Jerry  Elrod, my bean counter, if we have enough $ to buy more tinfoil.

What I’m trying to say here is there will be some campaigning, complaining, and explaining; Murdo talk, storytelling, relishing, and embellishing in the days to come. After all..I don’t want my crown to lose it’s luster.

I have talked at length about how I wanted to be like Connie Jackson, so I won’t go over all of what you already know. Anyway, I started to think it never really happened at all. I thought maybe I dreamed it or as my Uncle Chuck Francis quoted Mark Twain as saying:

“When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not, but my faculties are decaying now, and soon I shall be so I cannot remember anything but the things that never happened.” 

The proof in the form of a picture… or two, came to me quite by accident. Connie’s brother unknowingly verified what might make some think I’m not quite right. Eddie emailed some photos from our yearbooks because I lost mine.

There it was staring at me…The proof!

Exhibit A

No one else that year had the same cut. I actually looked through a couple of yearbooks while I was at the reunion and came up with nothing.

Exhibit B:

Another picture of Connie with the “do”… Connie with Leslie Kell, Marilyn Kinsley, Doug Koester, and Tommy Kerlin. (I saw Tommy Kerlin at Dean Lindquist’s birthday party, which was the same week-end as the reunion. He lives in Sturgis and rides a really beautiful motorcycle. I wish I had a motorcycle like Tommy’s.)

Exhibit C:

I couldn’t keep up with Connie’s clothes and shoes because she had too many. I had to just pick out a few like her’s. I went to work at the Frosty like Connie, but she quit so that didn’t exactly work out. Do you think I’m a manipulator? Mom always told me not to push the river. It flows. I think that was her way of saying I try to manipulate outcomes.

When I was at the reunion, I saw Karen Ferdig (Snyder). She was one of my best friends in High School. I asked her if she had figured out, that I had been a Connie wannabe. She said she hadn’t realized it..(then). Karen looks the same as she did 46 years ago.

Karen and her beautiful granddaughter, McKenzie talking with Eddie Jackson at the reunion (I like her white pants. I wonder where she got them?)…on your right.. Karen’s Senior picture.

Anyway, I’m sure glad I got over that nonsense of wanting what everybody else has.

*************************************************************

Connie would have been 66 today. We lost all three of these women to cancer. They each had three children. All were very special people. They are missed by those who are lucky enough to have known them.

Let it never be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot.

They were all shining stars, but their moment was far too brief.

The sign

I had been in Murdo a couple of days before I finally had the opportunity and the time to drive up and down the streets of my beloved hometown. I had worried about coming home. They say most people are disappointed when they come back to their hometowns because it will never be like it was. It will never be like you remember it, and it won’t feel like home.

The minute my cousin Valerie and I left Rapid City, I knew I had nothing to worry about. Whatever the next days held, I knew Murdo would feel like home to me. For several months now, I have relived my  life in Murdo. I have written almost every day about friends and family, childhood and high school years. Many of those I have written about are no longer walking this earth. They no longer live in the houses I remember so well.

Some of the buildings like Sanderson’s store are no longer there, but all the streets are the same. The Courthouse hill, Main Street, the walk to school, the road by the auditorium, the parade route, and Old 16, are all paths I walked countless times. They still require the same number of steps. It all looked wonderful to this Murdo girl.

The day I drove around Murdo, I ventured South of 16 where all the cousins lived. I could have been disappointed by all the changes, but I wasn’t. The feeling of being home was still there. Being in this place that held such wonderful memories, gave me tangible evidence that My Murdo was real and it always will be.

I spent time with old friends and made new ones. I saw some of my teachers and the girls I used to babysit. I drove all over town, and more and more good memories came flooding back to me. I talked to people who read my stories and are reminded of more or different fun times. We are all unique, yet in many ways we are all the same.

I saw my family

I was often too excited to remember to take pictures. Valerie and I saw our cousins Terry Sanderson and his wife Kay, Jeff H. Sanderson and Emily. We spent a lot, but not enough time visiting with cousin Mark Sanderson and Dave. On the night before we left SD, Valerie and I stayed with Cynthia Edwards and sang Karaoke for hours. We met Kevin, who was such a good sport and somewhat willing audience.

Greg and Carma Miller, Matthew and Renee, our two aunts Irma and Elna, and Angela along with her fiance Chad, were at a family dinner hosted by Andrea Miller Sheehan. ( Andrea took us to see her incredible doll collection.)  We saw countless classmates and friends.

You can go home and it can be really, really fun. Like this:

Aunt Elna Miller and Greg’s daughter Renee

Valerie and me with Suzanne Brost

Aunt Irma with Jeff H’s daughter and fiancé Chad

If you highlight the photo, a description will appear.

Dean Lindquist with daughters Karen, Kim, and Tammy

Eddie and Mari Jackson, Don Edwards, Val and me

Thanks to all the above, and a special thanks to the Lindquist girls and Dean for taking such good care of me and arranging for Murdo Girl and the Queen to be in the parade. Valerie and I had a wonderful time hanging out with Don Edwards, Eddie Jackson, and his beautiful and wonderful wife, Mari.

Tammy Lindquist Van Dam, got a proclamation from Murdo Mayor Kelsey Nash to establish Stephanie Miller-Davis Day. The first of April, Murdo honors Stephanie for her contributions to the school library. Stephanie’s desire was to instill a love of reading in each child.

There he is… SD State Senator, John Thune…(Mr. Thune’s son with a sign, and Murdo Girl, who now has a mobile sign.)

Our beloved Jeep…It belonged to our Uncle Jeff Sanderson, and now sits in the Pioneer Auto Museum in Murdo

Harold Thune led Murdo to the 1937 state Class B tournament finals, where he was named captain of the all-tourney team. He was the top scorer in the tourney with 35 points. Our Dad, William Francis was also on the team. They are center front in this photo.

Some of the class of 1970..Mary Francis, Eddie Jackson, Josephine Jost, Mark Sanderson, Don Edwards, Marlene Rada, Danny Koester, and Karen Miller..

I saw Dick Bradley, Ron Kinsley, Ella Elrod, Wally Elrod, and Guy Anker

I’m not a senior, but just pretend these kids are homecoming King and Queen

Who says you can’t go home!!

Thanks to Patti, I now know the words to the school song.

Oh here’s to Murdo Coyotes, they’re bound to win; line like a stone wall, guards and forwards, all are out to win for Murdo. Let us cheer them forward, never give in; boost, boost for victory for we shall win.

I heard at one time that Mrs. Kuhrt wrote the lyrics. The tune is “Our Director.”

It’s now the Jones County Coyotes.

I missed Billy

**Two corrections need to be made to the answers for the Murdo History Questions. #6 should be FF and not F which makes it Judy Dykstra and not Allen Rada. #34 should be Q and not RR which makes it Mons Anker and not Sam Seymour.

**corrections noted by Syd Iwan. 

11)  correction DD…thanks Walt

Below is a link to a PDF with the Murdo History Quiz and answers. Please share any thoughts or comments with us. We hope you had some fun with it. Murdo has produced some very accomplished and colorful people, and this quiz highlights only a few of them.

Billy Francis, and Mary Francis McNinch

Murdo Trivia Quiz & Answers

• A special note to the Murdo Girl readers who only know about Murdo by the stories I tell in the blog. Please bear with me today. For the most part, this quiz will not be of interest to you. I will be posting lots of photos of the events taking place over the next few days. The reunion is all school and it won’t happen again for another five years, which makes it pretty special.

The 2016 Jones County all school reunion is in just a few days. Bill rarely misses the reunions, but he’s not able to be here this time. He had a great idea that we think you’ll have some fun with. We prepared a Murdo History Quiz.

The questions are numbered 1-52.

The answers are  the name of the person the question refers to. The names are listed below A -ZZ

All you do is put the correct letter  in the answer column. This is just for fun. I’ll put the answers on the Murdo Girl blog on July 20th. I’m also bringing some hard copies of the quiz to pass out to anyone interested in seeing how much they know about the history of Murdo, SD. Please share the quiz with others. If you would like me to email the answer sheet to you, send your request to kmtexas2@gmail.com

Happy reunion to all. Bill Francis and Mary Francis McNinch.

PS. Several good friends helped us compile the questions and we really appreciate it.

I promised a party and I always keep my promises, so let’s have some fun!

What: A Good Time in Murdo

When: Wednesday

Where: In the Harold Thune Auditorium on the Jerald Applebee floor

Bill Francis plumbing and heating

WELCOME TO MURDO

Every Murdoite from the youngest to the oldest is chocked full of excitement about the upcoming blowout at the Harold Thune Auditorium. Mr. Applebee has been cleaning his floor all week and boy does it shine! Good work Coach. Mr. Palmer has changed out all the light bulbs in the crow’s nest, so everyone should be able to toot their horns and beat those drums with amazing accuracy. There’s nothing better than a band that can see.

GET OFF OF MY FLOOR, I JUST CLEANED IT!!

Mason Jr. Yeah a parade

There will be so many children’s activities, the little ones will run Mom and Dad absolutely ragged. To name a few, there’ll be piggy back rides, on the backs of the basketball team, bobbing for lemons in a tub full of free water donated by Murdo Wall Drug, and lemons from Sanderson’s store.  We’ll have pin the tail on the Coyote, and the Queen has offered to be in charge of the pony rides in the parking lot.

We know that the little darlings can get away from you sometimes, so Deputy Fife has set up a “Nip it in the Bud” stand where you can go and holler for your kid on the megaphone. He will also be lurking around incognito. That way if he spots trouble brewing, he can nip it in the bud. Murdo Girl will be assisting him when needed.

For adult entertainment, there will be a twist off. This is for men and women under 40. The older people should not participate. It’s hard on your core to twist like that. For the geriatric crowd, there will be a place reserved in the SW corner of the auditorium where you are welcome to dance the tango if you’d like. Hopefully, it will be one of your good days. A single plastic rose will be provided for as long as the supply lasts. Some like to hold a flower in their teeth when they dance. One rose per couple please. Unless you can twist and tango to patriotic music, you’ll have to wait until the glee club is finished and the band starts to play.

Under 40 welcome

I borrowed these photos from Judy Dykstra Brown’s blog, Lifelessons. I’ll give them back Judy.

We are committed to using every square inch of space in the auditorium. As previously mentioned, The girls glee club will be on the stage. They will be singing a series of patriotic songs. You won’t be able to see their performance because the curtain will be closed. We decided that we wanted the singing to be subtle and kind of drifting in the air. Having the curtains closed will promote the atmosphere we’re shooting for.

Speaking of shooting..When the glee club takes a break, there will be a shoot the basketball contest. You have to shoot from the free throw line. Five out of five baskets will get you a prize. It will most likely be a lemon meringue pie from Mack’s Cafe. Four out of five gets you a box of Millionaire candy from The Murdo Wall Drug Store. Ever since all the Wall Drug signs were moved to direct the tourists to Murdo, the store has become pretty flush and they wish to share their wealth.

 In the girl’s locker room, Madame Queen will be telling your fortunes. She recently obtained a Certificate in Fortune Telling from the School of Mediums in New Underwood. I’ve heard she’s extremely accurate. She will tell you anything you want to know without even asking any questions. Consult Madame Queen on love, marriage, wills, and power’s of attorney. She will succeed where others have failed. She will even review your blood work if you want her to. Your reading will be private and confidential. A line will be formed at the top of the stairs, by the back door. If we have to, we’ll even rope off an area so people don’t try to cut in.

The mega talented Photographic drawer, Sherri Miller will be in the boy’s locker room where for a nominal fee, she will draw your photograph. If you’d like, you can contact her early and show her what colors you’ll be wearing. That way, she can pick up the pencil that most closely matches your outfit, at The Gambles store on her way over.

Has the Queen seen this Sherri?

************************

A few housekeeping matters

Just to avoid confusion, males and females will be allowed in both locker rooms for this event.

Parking will be tight, so walk if you’re able. Some of you live real close.

Now…Have yourself a ball!!

Fern’s Cafe has been featured in several of the Murdo Girl stories, and many of you readers have been reminiscing about Fern’s chocolate cake. I didn’t think much about it at first. I figured one good chocolate cake was about the same as any other good chocolate cake. I got a little curious though, when someone posted the recipe on Pat Bechard’s FB page. Fern was Pat’s grandmother. The person who posted it said they got it from Lois Jaide.

I decided to bake the cake. I’ve gained ten pounds since I started the Murdo Girl blog back in March… It landed on my hips Just in time for the Murdo all school reunion. My other prediction about the bad hairdo came true as well. I got my hair cut twice and it’s still too short.

Let’s pretend I’m a good cook. I’m going to take you step by step through the building of Fern’s Chocolate cake.

THE RECIPE

I read it over several times just to get a feel for it. The recipe said, *add butter the size of an egg. You’ll notice that the cake doesn’t have any eggs in it, but you’ll need one anyway so you can measure the butter accurately. If you double the recipe, you will need 2 eggs. Just be sure you don’t put the eggs in the cake.

The first step is to boil the cocoa and milk together until thick. How thick? I guess I could have called someone, but I decided to wing it. I waited until it was the consistency of thick mud.That part went fine.

The next step is to add flour, sugar, baking soda, milk, and vanilla. So far so good. The recipe didn’t tell me how I was supposed to mix it up. Should I use a mixer, or should I just hand stir it? I decided to hand stir it. I thought the batter looked a little too thick, but it sure did taste good. I love cake batter and cookie dough. I’ve been known to consume so much of the cookie batch before it’s baked, what’s left is hardly worth heating up the oven for. I know raw eggs might kill me, but I’m a risk taker.

I found a loaf pan and sprayed it with cooking spray. The recipe said to grease the pan, but the spray is so much easier.

I baked the cake at 350 for 35 minutes. It came out of the oven looking like the first picture. When it cooled down, it looked like the second picture. It sunk in the middle and the top cracked. I wasn’t concerned. There is remedy for every problem.

Kip and I decided this recipe is a keeper. I looked online to find an explanation as to why it fell in the middle, and I found a couple possibilities. One being not enough liquid.  I might add an additional 2 tablespoons of milk next time. The cake does have a unique, but really good chocolate flavor. Even though the batter seemed dry, the texture turned out to be moist and just the right denseness, so I don’t know. Should I have used a mixer?

My kids always loved my chocolate chip cookies and my Mom’s lemon bars. I used to be able to make them both without looking at the recipe. All of a sudden one day, they weren’t good anymore. I visited my son and his family in Wyoming and they wanted me to make my homemade chocolate chip cookies. I tried four or five times and no matter what I did, they were as hard as a rock. They were even too hard to dunk.

I wonder if any of you Murdoites still have your Jones County cookbook. I love it. As you can tell by the shape it’s in, I used it all the time when my kids were still home. I love the pearls of wisdom on each page like, “Some husbands know all the answers. They’ve been listening for years.” It’s fun to see the names and remember the ladies who gave up their very best recipe’s for the cause.

The recipe for Mom’s yummy lemon bars is in the upper right hand corner under all the spilled coffee. 

This is the recipe Mom contributed. Do you notice anything funny?

I’m just taking a little break from the campaign. We’ll finish it up after the party

When I was in high school, there was a dance in Vivian every other Friday night. Kids came from all of the surrounding towns, so it was always crowded and full of drama. Lots of hookups and breakups happened at the Vivian Dance. Although it won’t seem like it at first, the story I’m going to tell is a Vivian dance story.

The weekly dance started years before my high school days and probably went on for years after. I don’t know. Everyone understood that what happened in Vivian, did not stay in Vivian.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason there are so many Murdo Girl readers, is because everyone’s afraid of what I might write about them, and they don’t want to be the last to know. It was the same way with the Vivian Dance. You had to be there.

The summer after high school graduation, I went to California. My sister-in-law got me a summer job working at the Chancellor’s Office for the California State Colleges. It was a lot of fun. I worked with a proof reader who had a daughter about my age. She was also working there for the summer. Maureen and I became good friends. Then, the last few weeks I was there, a high school friend of mine,  Josephine Jost, came out to California.

My sister-in-law had a little MG convertible that she let me take to pick Josephine up at the airport. The car was very little and Jo was far from a light packer. We somehow managed to get all her suitcases shoved in the backseat. The problem was, they stuck out on the sides and we couldn’t see behind us without stretching way out. I’m talking hanging over the door to our waist way out.

Once we got her luggage all stashed, off to the freeway we went. I hadn’t driven much in California, but my sister-in-law had written down good directions and I was really pleased that I had made it to the airport without any wrong turns.I made up for that on the way back. Reversing directions proved to be a real challenge for the little Murdo Girl and Josephine was just along for the ride. Nothing ever shook Josephine up anyway.

Well, I took the wrong exit off the freeway and was extremely afraid I would never find my way back. The freeways are four lanes and they don’t have those neat turnarounds where you can get back on the freeway going the other direction real easily. If you read my Murdo Girl driving stories, you know I didn’t do all that well on a gravel road. A person could be like the guy in the song who never returned and his fate is still unlearned.

I made a quick decision to turn around and go back up the exit. I still can’t believe I did that. Josephine will remember if you want to fact check me. I managed to scoot that little yellow MG far enough over that we somehow avoided a terrible accident. One driver yelled. YOU CAN’T DO THAT! Josephine yelled back, OH, YEAH?! WE JUST DID!! We weren’t even smart enough to be scared.

We got a tiny efficiency apartment, just a few blocks from where I was working. The idea was to get Josephine a job too, but we never got around to that. The apartment had a medium-sized living room area and a Murphy bed that pulled down to reveal a closet. It had a small bathroom and a very small counter with a hot plate. That was our kitchen, where we cooked every night. Well, almost every night. Once or twice at least.

A few weeks later, we decided to go back to Murdo. Back then, you could usually get a standby ticket for $50.00.  My work friend, Maureen dropped us off at the airport and we slowly made our way to the ticket counter. I say slowly, because we were going back in style. We had all of Josephine’s luggage plus mine along with a guitar and one of those bonnet hair dryers. I don’t remember which one of us had the guitar but I don’t recall either of us playing it. We each had purchased a cute short wig, and a leather fringed jacket. We were impressed with ourselves and couldn’t wait to make our appearance. We had rushed around to get ready so we could get back on Friday night in time to go to the Vivian dance.

We made it as far as Salt Lake City before we got bumped. Regardless of whether we caught another flight that day or not, we were broke and would be at the airport for the duration. We passed the hours we waited, by pushing each other around the airport in a wheel chair. We were hoping someone would feel sorry for us and give up their seats, but that didn’t happen.

Finally there were two seats open on the last flight to Rapid. We were told we weren’t the next in line. It was a man and woman with two little ones.  Josephine and I kept checking our watches while invading the family’s space. We listened to them try to decide if one adult and one child should go ahead and the other two follow later. It was nip and tuck until the last minute. We told anyone who would listen that we only had $20.00 between us. I guess I didn’t mention that there was only a slight chance of getting on a flight the following morning.

We lucked out and were allowed to check our many bags and take our seats on the plane. Next stop..Rapid City. When we  finally got to Rapid, Josephine called a friend she had on standby to pick us up. We had another couple of hours to pass in an airport. We didn’t eat because we needed the 20 bucks for the dance. Our ride got there and we were off and running.

I can’t remember the guy’s name now, but when we got to Murdo, we had him drop us off at my house. Mom was out of town I guess. I don’t remember if she even knew we were coming back. We had to lay low, because if word got around that we were back in town, it would ruin the big surprise. We were both exhausted, and didn’t want to get to the dance until between 9 and 10 anyway, so we asked the guy who was nice enough to drive us to Murdo, if he would come back and get us at 9:00 sharp!

Confident that we had it all figured out, we went to sleep….and didn’t wake up until 4:00 a.m. Even the Vivian Dance doesn’t last that long. We were madder than hops at ourselves. It was 4:00 o’clock in the morning, and we were wide awake, with no place to go, which was a good thing because we had no way to get there. The picker upper guy said he came by and honked the horn, but figured we had caught a ride with someone else when we didn’t show up.

Later, we heard the dance was a whole lot of fun, which made it even more devastating. The stars weren’t aligned. We pushed the river and it’s supposed to flow. All those kids at the Vivian dance didn’t know what they had missed. They were deprived of our grand entrance signifying our return to Murdo.

I’m sure many who read this have bigger and better Vivian Dance stories, but this isn’t too bad since we didn’t even make it there.

*******************************************************

The Murdo Party is on Wednesday. I need time to get ready…and a nap. The Queen and Camilla plan to come. Should be fun.

When did Barney discover his gun was missing? (The morning after the parade)

When was it first discovered under Otis’s hat? (Several days later after the 4th)

I’m so over this…….Me too…..Me three

The flaw: Otis did not stay in the cell during the day, only at night. Why didn’t Otis or someone else see the gun hanging on the hook, when the hat wasn’t there? The answer is, the gun could not have been on the hook the whole time. Where was it?

Who had motive and opportunity to take the gun?

Barney hung the gun on the hook the night of the parade. Otis put his hat over the gun. Barney locked the door to the jail before falling asleep, but Otis left to get help. He unlocked the door which made it possible for someone to come into the jail house while Barney was sleeping and Otis and his hat were gone. Barney was sleeping and the gun was hanging on the wall uncovered. Who do you think would have come in, seen the gun,took it with them, then returned it the night before it was found

1)Was it Thelma Lou and Louise? Remember Louise thought they should come up with a scheme to make Barney look like a hero. Catching a thief would qualify. That might have been their motive. They would make it look like someone stole Barney’s gun, then plant it so it looked like someone else took it. When Barney caught the would be crook, the town would think him a hero. Then when it didn’t unravel as expected, they got scared and put the gun back, or they just plain got bored.

2)Was it Jerry? He was concerned about losing his job. Remember, Murdo Girl hinted that if they didn’t bring in some more cash he might have to go home. He only had $5.00 yet he carried that big empty bank bag wherever he went. Maybe he was carrying the stolen gun around, waiting to see where he could get the best deal. (He’s on a salt restricted diet due to the excessive chip consumption. He needs $ now, not chips.) He could sell the gun on the black market and donate the proceeds to the campaign that offers him the best deal, or he could return it to Barney, no harm done.

3)Was it A I? She acted kind of funny don’t you think, when the gun was found while she was there? She was obsessed with being an informant, and wasn’t real happy about how Murdo Girl was running her campaign. She may have come in that night and when she saw the gun, took it intending to frame the Murdo Girl team, just to make it more interesting.

This is my team A I…You knocked several of us down.

Answer: It was Jerry. He’s writing his confession now

PS..We’re not allowed to fire him while the case is in litigation

The whole town of Murdo is on pins and needles. They have one question on their minds. Who stole Barney Fife’s gun, then brought it back and why? The only one who has been officially eliminated as a suspect is Otis Campbell. The Murdoites think at least 2 people know, or have a pretty good idea who the Gun Ghost is. The Queen tried her best to blurt it out at the press conference, but Barney stopped her. He then went into great detail to explain why Otis had been eliminated as a suspect. As with most things involving our beloved Queen, confusion reigns. Several Murdoites went to Murdo Wall Drug for ice water and lemons after the press conference broke up. There were a few noticeably absent.

Murdo Girl and Barney are in a private meeting over at the jail house.

Murdo Girl: So now what do we do Barney? This whole town is stirred up and if we don’t tell them pretty soon who the Gun Ghost is, they’ll lynch us both, and I’m not ready to have my platform pulled out from under me. As it stands now, people are questioning if either one of us should be President.

Barney: Sniffing. Don’t I know it Murdo Girl. I’ve been feeling the heat ever since my gun went missing. Who wants a Deputy Sheriff who loses his gun, then finds out it’s been hanging on a nail underneath a prisoner’s hat?

Murdo Girl: And who wants a President who is rumored to have used dirty tricks to make the Deputy look bad?

Barney: I see what you mean Murdo Girl, your short comings are way worse than mine.

Murdo Girl: Hold it Baaaaaarn. You’re shortcomings are way way worse than mine.

Murdo Girl and Barney: Truce..Truce

Barney: The only trouble is, when we tell everyone who the Gun Ghost is, and the story behind the story…

Murdo Girl:  We have to have a plan Barney. The Queen won’t keep her lip zipped much longer. I have an Idea. Let’s sit here and recreate what happened.

The recreation:

It all started the day of the parade. It was a sunny day, and all the birds were singing. That evening, after the town had quieted down some, a tired  Deputy Barney went back to the jail to lock it up. When he walked through the door, he heard a sound, yes, a sound of a wheeze, no not a wheeze, a snore. A SNORE?! What in tarnation? With his heart sinking down to his shoes, Barney turned around knowing what he would see. Otis sleeping in the jail cell. Barney had left it open because if he happened to arrest someone, it was easier to throw them in the cell and slam the door shut, rather than go find the key and go through all those extra steps.

Anyway, he knew it was no use trying to wake Otis up and get him out of there, so he locked the jailhouse door, but not the cell door. Then he poured himself a cup of day old coffee, hung up his holster, sat down at the desk and propped his feet up. Soon, there was the sound of two snorers snoring.

Fast forward one hour: There is still the sound of two snorers snoring. Suddenly, Otis wakes up. It takes him a minute to remember where he is. He’s never been to Murdo before. He doesn’t know this jailhouse. He walks over and peeks out the open door and sees Barney fast asleep. Now what? He thinks. He’s supposed to keep Barney up and busy all night. It was part of the deal he made with the Murdo Girl camp. They wanted Barney off his game. In turn, they would get Otis and Mrs. Campbell relocated to Murdo. They even got his community service transferred from Mayberry. Otis missed old Barney anyway, so it was easy to sell him on the new cell.

All this was going through Otis’s mind as he sat down in the chair on the other side of Barney’s desk. Then Otis could not believe either his eyes or his ears. Barney started singing in his sleep. Yes there were times, I’m sure you knew, when I bit off more than I could chew, but through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and stood real tall and did it my way.

Otis walks around the desk and shakes Barney. He tries to tell him that he’s singing Murdo Girl’s campaign song, but Barney just keeps on singing in his sleep. Otis gets so nervous he decides he has to get someone to help, but first he better find some way to quench his awful thirst. Now Barney is there alone. He’s either walking in his sleep or just unsteady, but something in his subconscious tells him he should get the keys and lock up that cell Otis is in, and put his holster back on. (He doesn’t know Otis left.) Instead, he gets his gun out of his holster, hangs it on the wall where the hats go, and puts the keys on the ring where the keys do go. He puts his holster back up where the holster goes, and goes back to sleep. Otis comes back without help, because he quenched his thirst too much. He stumbles over and hangs his hat on the hook where the hats go, and where the gun is, goes back in his cell, shuts the door and goes to sleep.

Mystery solved. Everybody’s plan backfired. Barney couldn’t find his gun because he was asleep when he hung it on the hook. Otis didn’t do what the Murdo girl camp asked him to, but he didn’t remember that he didn’t. Murdo Girl thought he did, because Barney was tired and twitterpated. Not one person was a viable witness to what happened. When they asked the Queen how she knew who the Gun Ghost was she said, “she dreamed it.” When she told the story to Murdo Girl and Barney, they figured out the rest, and decided they were going to listen to the Queen a little better in the future.

Now try to tell all that to the general public while looking Presidential

The Murdo Girl Team

The Murdo Girl bodyguards. Now what’s she doing?

The Murdo Girl Stuff

Barney’s Team

***************************************************************************Next..Will Murdo Girl and Barney opt for a credible cover-up or will they tell the truth as they know it? Will the Murdoite’s believe the truth? Does anybody really know the truth?  Will confusion still reign, or will the Queen buy a smaller crown?  Will Yram keep her job at the Murdo Coyote? What are Thelma and Louise up to? Do you know what I think? I think we should have more fun things like the parade. Let’s have a town party! 

Epilogue to the Gun Ghost Story

There is a flaw in this story. If any of you readers figure it out, tell me, but don’t tell them. There is an answer to every question. I ‘m pretty sure anyway, unless there isn’t.

When did Barney discover his gun was missing? The morning after the parade

When was it first discovered under Otis’s hat? several days later after the 4th

You don’t have to solve a mystery, only discover the flaw

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