Short Stories

Murdo Girl…A HaHa Parade

Mary Francis McNinch

The HaHa Sisterhood is currently visiting Pierre, South Dakota. MG won the trip and took all of her HaHa sisters with her. It turns out Windy Lindy Bergh has a twin sister who is the sitting Gov of Pierre. 

Anyway, YO Gov, decided she would put on a big citywide parade. The HaHa’s are all lining up now to traverse down Main Street.

MG: Hey Lav, Have you seen Gus and Billy? We have some bills to pay around here.

Lav: Yeah…They said they were going to Ft. Pierre and see where the cowboys drink their pop.

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MG: Well, we can’t wait for them. It’s time to get this show on the road.

Queen, Gov, Queen

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Next we have Miss Airy Heart. She had to take her rental biplane back to Enterskies, so she decided to uh, ride in a convertible of sorts.

Airy: Hi, I’m Airy and I designed my ride myself…when I was in kindergarten.

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Next we have PG who is riding with Queen E. and Prince Charles. I tell you what! You can’t turn around without running into a Queen these days.

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Hey PG! Have you seen AI?

PG: Yeah…I just saw her run a red light down on Main Street. I hope she didn’t cause an accident.

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UhOh…what do we have here? KK must have been in a little CC car crash with the PP Pierre Police. Bummer! I wonder who they ran into…looks like a multiple CC with a red truck.

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Were is Pattycake and all the rest of the HaHa’s?

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Oh…

Where are Windy and Pearl?

Pattycake: Look up! They are flying over the beautiful Oahe Dam in Ft. Pierre. I sure hope Pearl doesn’t fall out on her head! I guess if she lands on her pom pom, she’ll be okay.

 

After the parade, we’re all going PDQ over to KK’s house for BBQ.

Arf: Arf! Arf!

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Murdo Girl…Time-out

Mary Francis McNinch3 Comments

It only takes a moment for a moment to be gone.

Time will not stand still, though we keep trying to hold on.

“Time Out!” We want to beckon!

Alas…a camera is our weapon.

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Granddaughter, Charlie has her third time -out and it’s only ten o’clock.

Someone took a moment to take a photograph

Of my mother and her sisters. It always makes me laugh.

She’s in overalls… Her hazel eyes squint to peek

From beneath her hat as she stands there at Horse Creek.

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L to R Marjorie (neighbor), the Sanderson girls, Loretta (7), Ella (12), Helen (9), Elna (9 mos.)

The Homecoming King and Queen of nineteen-sixty looked so royal

In crowns made from cardboard and covered in tinfoil.

My brother Billy got to drive them in this classic car.

This captured moment has lasted fifty-eight years, so far.

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Billy Francis, Clarence Rea, and Patty Peck

Summer fun with family. This picture taken long ago

makes it all come back to me. I see a friend I treasured so.

The summer of sixty-six, we almost never were apart.

She died far too young. When I heard, it broke my heart.

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Ione Webb, Pat Rada, Marlene Rada, (Ione was married to Bob Webb, but this looks more like Jack Richards), I’m not sure who the two little ones are. This was taken in 1963, the year after Marlene’s brother, Earl, and my brother, Billy, went to California. They left the day after they graduated.

Look back at the Horse Creek picture. I’m sure you know the one.

That little girl in coveralls grew up and had a son.

Her baby sister, Elna, is shown in the picture below

Having coffee with her sister’s son, about thirty-two years ago.

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Elna Sanderson Miller, and Billy Francis, Loretta’s son, in Murdo, 1986

I’m sure you all have photographs that you’ll forever treasure.

I have thousands I look through. They bring me so much pleasure.

Pictures of hello and pictures of good-bye.

Reminders of moments, captured with a camera’s eye.

Murdo Girl…The Secret sister of the Sisterhood

Mary Francis McNinch5 Comments

MG won an all expense paid trip to the South Dakota State Capital in Pierre. She and Lav split the prize and took the Statute of Liberty and invited the HaHa Sisterhood to join them. Pierre is pronounced like pier and not how the French pronounce it, but then, the French didn’t give Pierre a Statue of Liberty, henceforth the Statute of Liberty, hysterically speaking.

We’ve lost a few HaHa’s along the way, but we’ve also gained a few. Since we were so close to Murdo, Windy and Airy stopped by to visit Pearl and Grace who both decided to join the HaHa’s.

wp-1533227050040.jpgSince biplanes are only two-seaters, the girls had to go to Enterskies and and get a rental so they could bring both Pearl and Grace to Pierre.

wp-1533249230440.pngThis time, they landed at the Pierre Regional Airport instead of downtown. They have a Town Cryer for an air traffic controller.

TC: NOT THE PARKING LOT! THE RUNWAY!! HEAR YE, PLEASE!

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Airy: All passengers… Please prepare for landing. Thank you for flying Ha One and Ha Two. We will be landing as soon as we figure out which knob to turn. If your cups and peanuts haven’t already blown away, please clean up after yourself. This is not your mamma’s biplane. If you enjoyed the complimentary Elixerfixer, please see Pearl in the baggage claim area, and watch your step.  Objects that appear, may not really be there. Elixerfixer takes a little getting used to.

Grace: It’s me, Grace, and I’m your only passenger. I help Pearl make that Elixerfixer and I don’t think it’s a good idea to serve it on an airplane. It’s twice as medicinal at high altitudes. You can either drink or breathe, but you can’t do both.

Windy: We need to land, I can’t breathe. Pearl…secure your pom pom purse and be prepared to jump! Geronimo!!

Airy: Where are they flying off to?

Meanwhile, back at Pierre Palace, the two Queens are preparing for a state dinner. They haven’t been invited to one, but surely when they are seen in their gowns and crowns, on the front lawn, the congressional leadership will fall all over themselves to make sure they dine in style.

Lav: MG, I think we should take our crowns off. The tinfoil seems to attract ducks and geese. The droppings are kind of killing my appetite.

MG: Okay, but wait! Here comes a distinguished looking person. He probably wants to invite us to our reception. Hey, mister…are you looking for us?

Mister: You two shouldn’t be standing out here. I’m going to call security.

Lav: That’s really sweet, but can’t we just follow you?

Mister: Absolutely not! Wait here. You had better not move!

MG: Look! Here comes the rest of the HaHa’s. Boy are they a sight for sore eyes. Come on sisterhood! Security is coming to take us to our reception. Are you hungry?

PG: What’s up with all the ducks? I’m tired. I just want a nice warm bath. I always bring my own bathtub, but I’ll need a pillow.

Where is AI? And where are Airy and Windy? They’re going to miss the reception!

Next:  Wuhoh…we learn the first HaHa Sisterhood secret.

We meet the Gov, who is somebody’s twin. Looks like she has a happy cabinet…

To be continued…meet Gov YO

Murdo Girl…Understanding brings peace.

Mary Francis McNinch4 Comments

How would you see yourself, if there were no mirrors around?

What if your birth certificate was nowhere to be found?

Your doctor took your records and left without a trace.

Thoughts faded into feelings you weren’t able erase.

 Where were all the people you had once befriended?

No names or faces came to mind. Your life had been upended.

You tried hard to remember important milestones in your life.

Were you living in the present or in the afterlife?

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Sunset on Cedar Creek lake

 It didn’t matter anymore if you were ten or ten times ten.

The days had no beginning nor did they have an end.

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Sunrise on Cedar Creek Lake

Then one day, your worries leave, but does confusion stay?

What is happy, what is sad, what is work, and what is play?

What is love? What is commitment? What is calm and what is fear?

 Your loved ones feel the need to make your memories reappear.

They want to teach you new skills to replace those you have lost.

They can’t comprehend a line, that has been forever crossed.

You’re not the person you once were. Someone different took your place.

But there is one single blessing those who love you must embrace.

If they do all they can to keep their memories of you alive.

Then you will feel their peace and all the love will still survive. 

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word of the day…understanding

 

 

 

 

MurdoGirl… Pierre..Here we come

Mary Francis McNinch2 Comments

Here’s a quick update on the HaHa Sisterhood. Windy Lindy Bergh and Airy Heart never could get their old rundown airplane off the ground, so they traded it in on a newer model… and just in time. The sisterhood decided to move on from the unhaunted house. Well, actually, they got kicked out. Apparently, ghosts don’t like squatters, even if they are members of the HaHa Sisterhood. 

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Windy: We got us a biplane, Airy! We’ve got wings to fly and lots of sky.

Airy: Yup, Windy! A new biplane. We can fly again!

Windy and Airy both get into the cockpit of their new biplane. They seem a little confused.

Windy: I wonder what all these knobby things are? Is there a user’s manual in the glove compartment, Airy?

Airy: I don’t see a glove compartment, Look under the seat, Windy.

Windy: Not there…Oh well, It can’t be that hard. It won’t be the first time we’ve had to fly by the seat of our pants…right, Airy? Remember that time we flew upside down all the way across the pond? That was before I got my eyes fixed.

Airy: Nope, I mean, Yup! Hey, this thing has two steering wheels. I’ll steer and you run the pedals. Where are we going, anyway?

Suddenly, they hear a noise in the backseat…They’re still kind of spooked from living in the unhaunted house….ever so slowly they turn to see what made the noise.

wp-1533086875457.jpgThey are shocked to see two apparent freeloaders sharing the bi part of the biplane. This could be a problem.

Windy: Who goes there!

Airy: Who are you and how did you get in here?

Windy: Jeez, Airy. It’s easy to get into, remember? I’m a little worried about getting back out, though!

Airy: Hey Windy…I think it’s MG and Lav. I thought they were locked in a dungeon.

Windy: Oh yay! This will be fun, fun, fun for everyone…crisis averted. Let’s fire this thing up!

wp-1533088632378.jpgLav: Would you two mind flying us to the South Dakota State Capital? MG just won a free trip, there. You’ll fly us there free, right?

MG: Yes, I won the contest. I’m a winner.

Windy: What about all of the other HaHa’s? Are they going too?

MG: Yup…They’re on their way. It should be a real educational trip!

So off they go into the wild blue yonder… flying high into the sky, (maybe), on another adventure.

To the Gov and the Lt. Gov, at the South Dakota State Capital in Pierre, South Dakota…Leave the light on. You’re about to get a visit from the HaHa Sisterhood, and a couple of Queens.

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Gus: It’s all your doing, Billy. You and your crazy card contest.

Billy: I thought you liked reading about Windy and Airy. Go ahead and take the bike…I’ll walk. I hear crazy is that way, and I’m not going there.

Pattycake: Hey! wait for meeeeeeee…

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Lav: Wow! What a view! Look! The HaHa’s are coming down Main Street! Isn’t that where Windy and Airy landed our biplane?

Murdo Girl…Word of the day

Mary Francis McNinch

She can be prim and proper, or a real show stopper

But no matter what she does, she’s always short!

She’s usually delightful… astoundingly insightful

And even though she’s short, she’s a good sport!

If you’re a funny nut, or a real pain in the butt

She’ll tell you that she loves you all the same!

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Even though she’d rather, put puzzles together

 She also likes to play those lame card games! 

She laughs at all your jokes…hates all egg whites and yolks

She eats pizza, but says, “Hold the cheese!”

If she needs some chilling out, you might see her airing out

And if she shouts, “Get out of my way!!” Don’t wait for, “Please!!!”

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The word of the day is… chilling out

 

 

Murdo Girl… Front page news..Billy’s decision

Mary Francis McNinch9 Comments

APB Presser: The following is an exclusive report obtained by Yram Sicnarf, Crack-Up Reporter, as run in/on all of the national publications, a few tweets, gossip rags, and of course several facebook walls. (Pinterest had no interest and the Queen did not return Yram’s calls.) Billy wrote this, himself…

Bill (Billy) Francis’ Selection Committee Picks Murdo Girl’s Birthday Card as the Winner of the “2018 Nasty Birthday Card Contest”

What??? Say that again!!

Bill (Billy) Francis’ Selection Committee Picks Murdo Girl’s Birthday Card as the Winner of the “2018 Nasty Birthday Card Contest”

The selection committee, in a 5 to 4 vote, picked Murdo Girl’s BD Card over LAV’s Card.  However, within minutes the LAV camp filed an official protest, citing possible “collusion” and “excessive lobbying efforts” by the Murdo Girl’s camp.  The contest rules state that an independent arbitrator be selected to make the final ruling.

The arbitrator, after reviewing the file and hearing testimony from both parties, ruled in favor of Murdo Girl.  In the arbitrator’s opinion he (or she) writes that there was no collusion.  The arbitrator did find evidence of lobbying on Murdo Girl’s part, although he/she determined that the lobbying was not “excessive.”
This reporter noted that the number of entries was down from previous years, possibly due to Mr. Francis’ retirement last January.  It seems that there may have been “excessive” encouragement of former employees in the past to submit entries.
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It appears that Lav Yekcel is receiving the dreaded news. Her crown has already lost it’s luster. Is she leaving town?

We think Lav is in seclusion. Her daughter, Caitlin, has been spotted with her mother’s cousin, Billy. Billy has also been seen with Lav’s good friend, Murdoite, Suzanne Brost. What conclusions are we to draw from this? Oh, wait! That picture was taken at the Boulder Boulder in 1995. It appears, Murdo Girl, who was standing on the other side of Suzanne, was cut out of the picture…

 

Meanwhile, Murdo Girl is celebrating with some childhood friends.

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This just in…(from Lav)

I’m going out early tomorrow to shop for a card. I have hired an independent consultant(who looks a lot like the wicked witch of the east/west whatever from The Wizard of Oz) to offer her opinions and channel her anger into the constant search for mean and nasty cards – not dirty ones. The quest continues.

Mary- where did you say you’re taking the committee to dinner? I concede for now.
Val
MG:  Yeah, right…(My card wasn’t dirty, either.)
Someone overeavesdropped and heard the following:
MG: Oh Yay!! I can’t wait to announce this prestigious win on the Murdo Girl blog! Do you mind if I leave out the part about the lack of competition? And can you tell me what put me over the top? Was it the whining or was it the already been scratched off, net zero, bingo lottery ticket? Maybe it was the unique postage stamps…one other question. May I ask who makes up the jaw droppingly astute committee that picked me? I’d like to send them a card.
Speaking of cards, I’m sure glad I didn’t buy a new one. I bought the Bigfoot card for a guy who left town unexpectedly before his birthday.
Love you Bill (Billy) I can’t believe I have a whole year to bask in this big win!

Murdo Girl…Snorting is a good thing

Mary Francis McNinch6 Comments

DRIVING MISS CRAZY

I’m being driven crazy and I don’t have far to go

When I finally get there, I hope someone lets me know.

I’m not sure if crazy looks like the picture in my head.

Is it something that I did? Or something that I said?

I was doing fine this morning when I dressed myself for church

I found a dress to wear in a quick two minute search.

I was feeling pretty sane for an hour…maybe more

Until my friend, Pat, and I, watched my slip fall to the floor.

It lay there at my feet as if to say, “cut me some slack!

My elasticity is gone, and it isn’t coming back.”

A see-through skirt in church might be rather sordid

Pat didn’t feel my pain… We started laughing til we snorted.

I was reminded of the time I made Bermuda shorts look like a skirt.

I held my legs together until my knock knees began to hurt.

To those driving me crazy, I only have this to say.

I got there a long time ago, crazy’s back the other way.

Murdo Girl…And Lav..Halfway to Hollywood

Mary Francis McNinch8 Comments

MG: Hey Lav, I got a call from Biwy.

Lav: Weawy? did he tell you who won the mean contest?

MG: No, but he’s a busy guy. Guess what? He told me to call you and tell you he wants us to pack a few things and he’ll pick us both up tomorrow and take us where there are people who can help us.

Lav: Weawy? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

MG: Yup! We’re going to Hollywood. We have been discovewed. I mean discovered.

Lav: Are you packing your cwown?

MG: Sure, Lav…Our crowns are part of who we are!

Lav: A lot of people must have watched our videos, huh MG?

MG: Well, Hundreds read the blog, but only four watched our videos. How many does it take to get viral?

Lav: Look on the bright side, MG. The right four people watched and saw how much talent we have.

MG: True… Maybe they enjoyed watching two queens having a good time..kind of like Lucy and Ethel did. Back in the day, people didn’t have the ugly things in this world thrown in their faces every day. They didn’t worry about some people thinking they were a little too crazy. They just wanted to make people laugh without using bad language.

Lav: Yup…I’m sure Lucy and Ethel had someone kind like Billy in their lives who just wanted to help them reach their full potential.I think I said “ain’t” That’s bad.

Happy Birthday Biwy!! See you in the funny papers!

We made you a birthday cake, Biwy. It was delicious!!

We’re ready!